


A supposedly perfect life

by Yukana1995



Category: Junjou Romantica, Sekai-ichi Hatsukoi
Genre: Angst, Fluff and Smut, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Past Rape/Non-con, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-25
Updated: 2020-11-29
Packaged: 2021-02-27 18:23:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 42,872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22900144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yukana1995/pseuds/Yukana1995
Summary: Kirishima Zen  a 20 y\o university student who seems to have it all, The hottest girl on campus, a loving family, popular and at the top of his class. All in all a perfect life, until he arrived, Yokozawa Takafumi the new transfer student who transferred right before the exams. Yokozawa's cold personality and hard mien makes him seem unapproachable and this peaks Kirishima's interest, especially when he first saw Yokozawa's eyes. The moment he looked into them and saw all the walls he built his insides twitched with something unknown. What could this new feeling be. Will Kirishima realise too late what these feeling exactly mean or will he be able to save him.Most people think Yokozawa will get annoyed by a single thing you say on first notice, but  because of Kirishima's natural ability in observing people, he just can't ignore the pained and broken soul he sees through Yokozawa's eyesCan kirishima stick the pieces of this broken soul back together or will it break beyond repair.
Relationships: Kirishima Zen/Yokozawa Takafumi
Comments: 6
Kudos: 24





	1. The transfer student

**Author's Note:**

> Look at the end of the chapter for more notes

[Kirishima's P.O.V.]

Beep! Beep! Be-

"ugh, Fuck" Kirishima slowly opened his eyes and immediately regretted that decision seeing that he forgot to close his curtains and the sun was shining right into his eyes. After a little while he blindly snoozed his alarm and turned away from the sunlight

When he was close to falling back into a blissful sleep his alarm went off again, Kirishima would do anything to sleep in just a little longer, but seeing that the exams are in two weeks it wasn't the best idea to skip a day. after the few seconds he took to wake up properly he got up reluctantly

 _'I can pass without much effort so why do I still go'_ he thought to himself, but his thoughts got interrupted when his phone went of. He looked at the caller idea and a small smile formed on his lips 'Oh yeah, That's why' 

[Sakura <3]

When I picked up I was immediately greeted by the cheerful voice of my girlfriend, I'll never understand how she can be in such a good mood in the morning

"Good morning Zen" 

"Morning Sakura, What's up"

"nothing much just wanted to see how you were doing" I rolled my eyes cause I knew that's not why she called me

"well as you hear I'm fine so why don't you tell why you really called me"

"tch, Your no fun Zen" she said in mock annoyance

as I Heard her say that I could practically see the fake pout on her delicate face and couldn't help laughing at the image in my head

"anyways your right that's not why I called you"

"woow shocker"

"cut the sarcasm Zen it's not funny" I know she actually likes it seeing the muffled laughing I hear at the other end of the phone

"Okay I'll stop so just say whatever you have to say, so I can finally shower this handsome body of mine" after I said this I hear her sigh as she completely ignores what I just said

"Well I heard there will be a transfer student in our class" 

"you mean after the exams?" I ask as this news catches my attention

"No, that's the whole point" 

I'm a little confused when she says this, seeing that the exams are in two weeks and if he isn't joining after the exams then that can only mean. _'wait is he-'_

"Yup he joins from today on" I was a little surprised when Sakura answered my thoughts as if I was saying it out loud

"Is that even possible it's only two weeks before the exams"

"I don't know, but we'll see today if it's really true" she says with some curiosity and excitement in her already cheerful voice. "Well I'll see you later, bye bye"

"Okay cya" I hang up the phone and make my way to the bathroom so I can take my well deserved morning shower.

On my way I pick out a pair of boxers, my favorite pair of jeans and a white button up shirt and get in the bathroom. I take of my Clothes and get into the shower cabinet. As the warm water slides over my skin I feel the last of my exhaustion fade away. I got out after a good 15 minutes and dry myself of, I put on my clothes and start to blow dry my hair before I get my bag and phone. I pick my brown leather jacket from the coat rack and put my keys and wallet in my pockets before I leave my apartment

Most of my friends live in th dormitory close the university, but when I got accepted in Tokyo's top college my parents rented this apartment. I wanted to decline the offer saying I'll just live in the dorms provided by the school and maybe get a part time job. As I expected they counterd my attempt to decline swiftly by saying they already sighed the contract, so I couldn't do anything but thank them for the beautiful and spacious studio

I jumped into my car and drove to college it was only a 15 minute drive

I saw that I still have half an hour before my first class starts so I went on a detour and stopped by my favourite cafe for that delicious first cup of morning coffee

When I enter the café the smell of coffee and freshly made desserts fills my nose _'God I love this smell'_ lucky for me there's only one person ahead of me. When it's my turn to order I'm greeted by a familiar face

"Ah Kirishima-san good morning" a sweet girl greets me with a beaming smile

"Morning Aia-chan" I greet her with a smile of my own

Takahashi Aia, is a childhood friend of mine and also the daughter of the owners of this café. she decided not to go to college instead she started to work in hert parents shop saying she always loved to be here. I'm sure that she's gonna be amazing once she takes over the café

"So what do you want today Kirishima-san?" 

"Do you even need to ask" I say while feeling a smirk creeping up my face

"You never know, but I'll guess it's the usual as always" she signs a little as she starts to prepare my latte

"Here you go that will be 260 yen." she says while handing me my medium sized cup

I hand her 500 yen "here you go, you can keep the change"

"Well aren't we generous today" Aia says sarcastically

"Haha, I know right" I wave Aia goodbye before walking back to my car. When I reach my car my cup is almost empty as I get in. I finish the last bit before starting the car and continue my way to the campus

I arrive at the parking lot of the university with a ten minutes left before classes begin. I get out and make my way to were I and my friends usually meet up before class

When I make my way to the trees in front of the building where I have most of my classes. my friends are sitting on the bench underneath it

Although I prefer my secret spot behind the university where there are several Sakura trees close to one another. I especially love it in April when the sakura trees are in full bloom and it's amazing to just sit down under it with a good book. Now that I think about it, I haven't read anything in a while. _'Maybe I should sneak out to go there after the exams are over, it will be the perfect way to relax'_ I start to smile as the thoughts of reading under those trees crosses my mind

"Hey Kirishima!" Yasuda yells when he sees me getting closer to the bench there sitting on

"ack, why did you do that for Saeki" Yasuda asks her angrily after she hit him across his head

"Because your being to loud Gou" Saeki swiftly replies before turning away from him

"As close as ever I see" I say mockingly

Yasuda Gou is one of my best friends ever since we met in middle school, he's personality is really laid back and makes it easy to get along with. Although his personality can be pretty deceiving cause he may look a little dense on the outside, but in reality he's one of the sharpest people I know and he can look through peoples masks and lies just like he's looking through glass

His sister Yasuda Saeki is one year younger then us, but she is certainly more mature then her brother. she also just enrolled in college this year in the law departement while Gou and I are in the psychology department of which the buildings are next to each other.

"Where not!" the pair of siblings voice this at the same time which makes it obvious that they are indeed real close to one another. I can't help a little chuckle from passing through as I see them glare at each other

I look away when I hear the familiar laugh of my girlfriend Sakura who's sitting next to her best friends from elementary Yoshida Haruka and Nishijima Yuu. Sakura is in the medical department of the school and so is Yuu although He is one year ahead while haruka sits in my class

"Morning Sakura" I say before I give her a quick peck on the lips

"oooooh" I hear them all voice at once and I just decided to roll my eyes at them

"Goof morning zen, again" 

"yeah again" I flash her one of my signature smiles before finally looking back at Gou who's trying to get my attention for a few minutes now. "What do you want Gou" I sign a little over dramatic, but I know he doesn't mind it

"you could at least try to sound a little more interested you know" I just shrug before make signs so that he can continue

He pouts at me for a second before he continues "So have you heard about the transfer student?" he asks me clearly hoping this was new to me, but looked disappointed when this wasn't the case "you already do, don't ya" he more said it to confirm it then as an actual question so I just nod.

"Sakura?" I nod again and smile when I see him glaring at her for spoiling the news. She just sticks out her tongue to him and turns back to the conversation she had with Yuu. _'I guess it has something to do with her exams'_

"well it doesn't matter anymore, so you know he's supposed to start here today right?" he now asks me with a serious expression

"Yeah Sakura told me that he'll start today even though she wasn't sure. cause who actually transfers to a new school right before the exam period" As I said this Gou started to smile at me like a little kid hiding the biggest secret ever "What is it?"

"Looks like you don't know everything yet"

"What more is there to know?" I ask genuinely curious about other details surrounding this mysterious new student

"Well for starters he's in the same age as us and will join our class"

 _'So he will be in my class, mmh this could actually be interesting'_ I started to space out

"Hello! earth to Kirishima" Gou puls me out of my thoughts by waving a hand in front of my face "ah looks like your back" I roll my eyes at him

I gesture for him to continue

"It's also said that he transferred due personal reasons" 

"Personal reasons you say, personal like what?"

"There called personal reasons for a reason smartass"

"well thank you mister I-come-always-in-second-place" when he starts to glare at me I can't help it to laugh out loud, cause I'm not wrong. since we started college I've always scored first place in the class ranks with Gou always underneath we.

"You-" Gou gets cut off by the bell that marks the start of the first lesson sso he can only swallow the rest of his comment as he picks up his bag

"Haha saved by the bell I see" we all stand up and make our way to our classes. When we approach the buildings we say our goodbyes as we need to go in a different direction.

"I'll see you guys later" Saeki says cheerfully before giving her brother a hug which he returns with a lot of care.

"Later Saeki-chan" I say before going over to Sakura to give her a kiss and pat Yuu on the shoulder

"See you at the usual café for lunch" she asks me, but already knowing the answer she smiles, gives a hug to Haruka and walks away with Yuu to the Med building.

When everyone said their goodbyes Gou, Haruka and I make our way into the lecture hall and find our respective seats in the back of the hall

Weirdly enough our normally punctual professor isn't here yet, most of the time he's already in the hall a ten to fifteen minutes before te lecture starts. 

"It's weird for professor miyagi to be late to class" as I expected Gou is having the same thoughts as me

"He always lectures us on how important being on time is and now he's late himself" Haruka is a little frustrated at this. Well it's not abnormal that she's mad seeing she's been lectured the most out of us all

"Your only saying that cause your always to late Haruka, so your not the one to speak about someone being late" I say dryly without looking at her, I already know that's she's pouting at me

I decided to look around the class hoping to see the new kid everyone is so excited about and to be honest so am I. I don't see anyone new though. 'Just the same old hall as always could Gou be wrong for once?' I quickly get rid of this assumption 'No he's never wrong if he tells me something with that expression on his face, so where is that new kid?'

The hall is just the same as always everywhere I look as I see people looking at me and who can blame them for not being able to control their urge to look at something beautifu, right. So every time I make eye contact with one of the girls I give them a smile before looking back at the front of the class, were the still missing professor is supposed to be

"I think that the professor being late has something to do with the new kid that's not here either" Gou says clearly knowing what I've been wondering about the past minute. It's little unsettling how he always knows what I'm thinking, but I got used to it along the years

"That's most likely the case" I answer him with a slightly serious edge to my voice "For all we know he may be a problem child or a spoiled brat-"

My breath get stuck in my throat when I turn towards the entrance of the hall as I see Professor Miyagi walk in and no it's not because of him, but because of the boy that walks in behind him.

The young man carried himself with a gracefulness I could never manage myself, while still looking confident and calm. He has a lean body that looks skinny at first glance, but if you watch carefully you can see the well-defined muscles that are hidden by his dark blue jeans and black button up shirt. The same goes for his refined jawline with pale skin and jet black hair, but what catches my attention the most are his beautiful steel grey eyes that fits his dark hair perfectly. The color of his eyes was peculiar with so much raw emotion in them I just couldn't decipher and that was a big shock to me seeing that I'm pretty good at reading people, but this man is different. All in all he is what you call an attractive young man.

 _'What happened to him that he has to build such a big wall around him'_ the more I look at him the more my curiosity grows just like my desire to break down whatever it is he build around himself

Snap* *Snap* Gou snaps me out of my thoughts "hey are you okay? I've been trying to get your attention for the whole time, but you just kept staring at the new kid" he whispered just loud enough so only I could hear him

When I look at him I can see he's a tad worried about me, it's nice to have a friend like Gou "yeah I'm fine it's just..." I trail off as I look back at the man in front of the class as he makes his way to one of the free seats in the hall, but when our eyes meet I get this strange feeling in my gut that says _'I need to help him'_

"Just what?"

"mh" I was brought back to my senses to what felt like the millionth time today "sorry I was spacing out what where you saying" I finally say after clearing my mind from all those thoughts

"Seriously man what are you spacing out about" I don't answer him cause honestly I don't know myself "well it doesn't matter if you don't know yet, but please tell me if there's ever something wrong" I nod at him and smile at him reassuringly I look at the new kid one last time before I turn to face the professor who's giving us some pointers in regards to the exams

It doesn't matter how hard I try to concentrate on what the professor is saying or the work in front of me. I just can't seem to shake of this feeling, like one mistake could ruin everything _'Ugh, what the fuck is wrong with me'_


	2. Introductions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look at the end for more notes

[Kirishima's P.O.V.]

 _'Seriously what is wrong with me, I can't help thinking that he may look strong on the outside but that's all to protect the fragillness that's inside'_ he thought with a little frown on his face _'well there is only one way to find out what this is'_ with this realisation he tries to revert his focus back to the professor

Even though that was what he said he do, it was just impossible to concentrate on what professor Miyagi was explaining with way to much enthusiasm and energy for his age, as always

Seeing the lack of concentration Gou taps my shoulder to get my attention so he doesn't disturb the other students in the class

"Hey you alright" he asks me quietly so only I can hear it

"Yeah why you ask" even though I hear the worry in his voice I try to be ignorant for once. Cause I really don't wanna answer the question I'm sure he's gonna ask

"Well your spacing out in professor Miyagi's class and..." this slight pause makes me glance up at him. He looks me in the eyes and continues "and you've never missed a word he said in all the classes we had so far. I know you love this subject and especially when it's with Miyagi" he voiced this as calmly as always

"So, for everything there is a first right" I say half mockingly, but when I looked him I knew he didn't believe me and he wouldn't back off so easily

"Zen" sadly enough I was right

"Gou, you don't have to worry to mich I'm okay I swear" I give him a small genuine smile 

Gou sighs before saying one last thing "okay I'll let it go for now, but promise me you'll tell what's wrong when your ready" when he looks at me with that face I can only go along with him

"Mh, I promise" he looks me over one more time before he averted his attention back to the lesson

Gou was right though it is the first time since ever that I can't concentrate on the lesson. I love psycholgie cause it's interesting to know how the minds and emotions of people work and so much more

I especially love the way Miyagi teaches, he teaches us with so much passion and love towards the subject, I heard he is the same in all his classes even in the literature department where he teaches the last years. I feel like the new kid is gonna need some time to get used to such a teacher like Miyagi

And again my thoughts revert back to the new kid. Why do all my thoughts end up being about him. I sign _'This is gonna be a long lesson'_ and I'm scared it won't be the last time it happens 

*RING* *RING* *RING*

The bell marks the end of class and everyone starts to gather there stuff and start to make there way out of the lecturing hall

"Wait a minute before you all leave" professor Miyagi says before anyone left the hall "I'll need someone that is willing to help the new student. To show him the way around here and help him settle in the dorms"

When I heard this question I saw the new student quickly looking up at Miyagi, seeming surprised he got mentioned like this _'this is it'_ I thought before making my way down and towards Miyagi.

"Professor Miyagi" I call out to him before he can point to someone else

"Ah, what can I do for you Kirishima-kun?" He asks with that signature smile on his face

"Would it be okay if I show the new student around" hope clearly in my voice

"Well seeing your grades and your friendly nature I see no reason to object, but" my smile falters with that but comment and a knowing glint in his midnight blue eyes 

_'I don't like that look in his eyes'_ I think hoping my guts are wrong for once, but ofcourse they aren't. Miyagi isn't a prize winning psycholgie professor for nothing "but?" 

"Just like I know your friendly towards a lot of people I also know how big of a teasing and meddelsome person you can be" 

_'Damn it'_ "so does that mean I can't do it?" I ask as innocently as possible

"You know he's standing right behind you don't ya" Haruka says, making both me and Miyagi turn around in union

When I look behind me towards the new guy I see a slight frown on his face. knowing all to well that he doesn't like the fact that we're talking about him, especially right in front of him

"Ah, sorry yokozawa-kun that wasn't very polite" Miyagi apologised while scratching the back of his head 

Yokozawa just shoke his head before goning back to what he was doing

Miyagi continues much quieter then before "look kirishima-kun I accept your offer of showing him around, but promise me you won't meddle and asks things he doesn't want to answer. If you see he's uncomfortable just change subject okay?" Because of his stern face I know he knows more about this sudden transfer then I thought 

"I promise" I reassure him with honesty and as I try to walk away Miyagi stops me by my shoulder "is there something else Professor?"

He thinks for a moment before voicing his last concern "yeah one thing. Please don't ask him why he came hear" I look a little confused, but Miyagi continues "I don't know the details, but it's really sensitive and stressful plus the last thing he needs right before the exams is that kind of emotional stress. You understand?" 

What professor Miyagi just said only makes me feel even more restless and confused "I understand" 

He looks me in the eyes one more time before nodding and sending me on my way

Firstly he goes up to Gou and Haruka that are waiting on him by the door "sorry guys would you mind explaining to the others why I can't come today?"

Gou looks at me with a little concern and asks one simple thing "you sure?" I look back at him and nod affirmative 

"What are you goes talking about" Haruka asks impatiently 

"Nothing let's go" Gou walks the hall out while dragging Haruka behind him 

_'I'm really lucky to have a friend like Gou ain't I. Now where is the guy I'm supposed to drag around'_ I look back and see him waiting for Miyagi to finish with answering the question of two female students, so I decide to walk up to him and introduce myself 'the sooner the better right'

"Hey" I say when I'm standing next to him, he looks up to me from his leaning position and gives a quick nod "so seeing that your new and the next class is only in the afternoon, why don't I show you around right now?" He seems a little weary about my sudden question. That's when realisation hits me

"Oh yeah how stupid of me" I slap my forehand slightly "I'm Kirishima Zen, 20 years old it's nice to meet you..." I look at him, practically begging him to answer me with my eyes. It's then that I heard his voice for the first time

"Yokozawa Takafumi" that's all he said with a voice full of raw emotions hidden by it's gruffyness, but still so smooth and gently with a hint of sternness. Certainly a voice of someone who has gone through some shit

I only heard him say two things but I wanna hear more of that voice, it's weird I've never heard a voice that contains so many things in one and if his voice wasn't enough he got those eyes to. Eyes that are on complete lock down, but if you ain't carefully they bore your very soul 'what do those steely orbs hide what makes them so hard to look away from'

Before I knew it a frown has started to decorate his beautiful features and it made him look even less approachable then he already looked. to others at least to me it made him look cute 

_'Wait did I just think a guy was cute?'_ I was a little shocked not really about the fact that it was a man, cause I never thought of myself as straight, but the fact that I didn't know him and thought this was the most shocking part _'get a grip Zen he probably already finds you a creep by now'_

"Are you gonna keep starring at me or do you need something else" his annoyed voice brought me back to reality in an instant

 _'Great first impression Zen'_ I sighed before focusing back to my original plan "sorry your eyes are such a rare color I couldn't help myself" I smiled a little mischievous and his eyes winded slightly before they returned back almost immediately, making it look like he just imagined it

I smiled at his reaction "well anyway, you probably already heard the conversation between me and Miyagi so what do you think about a tour" I kept smiling at him, but he was different then others who just smiled back and went along with me. He just looked annoyed

"No thank you" he said quietly his voice lacking all emotions at least if you couldn't hear that there where underlying hidden ones 

"Eh" I was a little surprised by that, but I'm not giving up "oh, come on it's pretty big here so it will be easier and quicker if someone shows you around right" seeing this was obviously the best way to get to know your way around

He just shrugged at that comment "I'll be fine alone" it was that last word he spoke that sent shivers through my spine _'Alone'_ the emotion he said that word with was obviously sadness and it wasn't as well hidden as the other times. Making it easy to perceive 

"Don't be so stiff you gonna need a friendly face around if you wanna survive" I send him one of my signature closed eyed smiles. Just missing the pained expression flashed through his eyes 

He let out a deep sigh, seeing this Zen knew he was winning him over "I don't need a babysit I can take care if myself" he said this without much bite so it would only take one more push to send him over the edge

I laughed at this comment and carefully decided the next couple of words that would lead me to victory _'this is gonna be risky, but we won't if it work till we try right'_ putting on a challenging smile I said "you sure don't wanna accept my offer" he looked at me suspiciously "unless your to scared to walk around with someone as handsome as me, what I can fully understand" by the way he looked I knew my guess was right and he was a person that never backs down from a challenge

"Who would be scared of that" the moment he said those words he regretted them immediately 

_'I won'_

"Well that's settled then, I'll wait for you until your done talking" I turned away and walked through the door and before I completely moved out of sight I looked back and winked at him

"O-oi" as I didn't stop he just clicked his tongue and I went to wait outside 

I was leaning against the wall next to the door while I waited on Yokozawa. His name alone gives a _'don't mess with me'_ vibe to it, but it sounded so beautiful when he said it 

I stopped with scrolling on my phone when I heard voices approach or at least one voice, professor Miyagi's. I think yokozawa didn't talk at all, but I'm not sure it could be that he's more at ease with the professor then a random student like me.

That thought stings me for some unexplainable reason or is there an explanation that I'm yet to be aware of

"Seeing that your grades are really good and you've seen everything you need to know for the exams I don't think there will be any problems" 

_'wow I didn't know Miyagi could sound like a real professor well it is his job, but still'_

"If you come across some problems or questions please ask the professor in charge of that subject" I see yokozawa now at Miyagi and the teacher person disappeared and Miyagi was back "you can also ask Kirishima-kun here seeing he's the top student of his year I'm sure he can help you with all kinds of questions okay" yokozawa nods again and mutters a quiet thank you, Miyagi smiles and goes back into the hall to gather his things 

Yokozawa turns around and faces me, looking displeased with the turn of events 

"So are you ready" I smile gently at him

He rolls his eyes, sighed and starts to walk next to me "if I really have to" he said under his breath

"Well then let us start this tour. First the lecture halls we have classes in the rest will follow" we started walking in the direction of the hall of our last class that's only in the afternoon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: heey so this was all for chapter 2 and I swear there will be more interaction between them in the next chapter. 
> 
> Thx for reading I don't any of the images used and character thoughts are in italics.   
> See you all next update 


	3. The tour

[Kirishima's P.O.V.]

"Okay seeing that our next class is on the other side of the building, let us start from here and walk towards that one and I'll explain as we pass the lecture halls we have a lesson in okay?" I look to the quiet boy next to me hopping on a bigger reaction than a simple nod, but that looks impossible for him _'this is gonna be harder then I thought'_

I decided to try to make some small talk, just keeping it simple to begin "so what do you think so far" he looks at me with a slightly confused expression "I mean the university, I know you only had this one lesson, but what do you think?" It was a simple question

"It was okay," he says calmly and clearly not intending to say more

"Well it was only one lesson you can't really conclude things with only that plus it was more explanations for the upcoming exams then an actual lecture" I try to make for this silence by talking more and hoping he'll talk more as we're nearing the next lecture hall

"Well here we are this is professor Usami's class, he gives English, Japanese and Chinese although we only have English from him" as I tell him I see an unasked question lingering in his eyes _'should I ask him what he wants to know or should I wait till he asks himself'_ I wait for few seconds, but don't feel like he'll ask me anytime soon

"Any questions so far?" He looks a little startled by the fact I knew he had one he opens his mouth slightly, but closes it almost immediately "you can ask whatever, that's why I'm here in the first place"

After a bit of pushing, he finally asked: "Usami as in Usami Akihiko?" Oh, I didn't expect that question at least not with that expression on. Not a lot of people speak about him with such admiration in their eyes, well most of my friends hadn't read any or given up cause they not quite understand it

"Yeah, you like his works?" I ask honestly curious to see if there will be a common interest to talk with him about, maybe something I can open him up with. Something to open on of those heavy locked doors that block the path to his heart

"hmm" I'm a little sad he doesn't reply with more words, but I'm not giving up. I look at him hoping he understands that I wanna hear more from him. 

"When did you start reading his works and which ones did you already read" I half ask this to make sure he's not playing with me and the other half is pure curiosity. I see him thinking about what to say next, that's a good sign right. this may lead to a bigger response than previous and hopefully, I get to know something more about him

I see him opening his mouth, but closes it again before he hesitantly answers in a quiet, smooth and most importantly a calm voice "twelve and all of his works that are out at the moment" this answer shocked me cause his books are mostly aimed at young adults so reading it on that age is pretty impressive, he even read them all 

_'Seriously how fast did he grow up'_ before I knew what was happening I was already staring at him in disbelieve "T-twelve! Y-you have to be kidding me and you even read all of them literally all of them!" It's the first time in a while since someone made me lost for words. I don't even try to mask my surprise

He looks insulted by what I just say with a frown, the kind of frown I wanna erase from his face as soon as it came "sorry it just surprised me a little, most of his works are aimed for our age and older. So to find out you've read them since you were twelve, saying it's impressive is putting it lightly" as I say this the furrow between his brows eases just a tiny bit "Most people I know only start to understand it now or still don't understand it. How come you've read them so early?" I'm really hoping on a longer answer then before although the chance of that is really slim

He looks a tad uncomfortable and doesn't look like he wants to answer, but then "My parents gave me one of his books" _'his parents! would people really give this heavy form of literature to a twelve-year-old?'_ he throws one shock after the other.

"Reading it at that age did actually understand it?" I saw the furrow between his brows come back and I quickly tried to explain what I meant "ah, sorry no offense, but it's just shocking seeing that most adults don't even understand it so" I scratched the back of my head awkwardly hoping I didn't mess up

He just shook his head not saying anything at all, seeing he doesn't wanna talk about the subject any further I gave up, at least for now

"Anyway, why don't we move on to our next destination," I say hoping to lighten the mood. He just nods and starts to follow me to our next stop _'it looks like I really gonna need to know my limits with this one'_ I think as we're making our way through the hallways 

On our way through the school I keep trying to make small talk, but he only replies with short answers our simple nods of the head. It's the first time someone doesn't warm up to me quickly, it's both exciting and frustrating. It feels like this will be a fun challenge

After Kirishima had shown Yokozawa around all the lecture halls they have lessons in, he drags him towards the cafeteria. On his way, he tries once more to get a longer response then only yes and no "How do you think you'll do on the exams, I mean cause you transferred right before them instead of the more logical choice in transferring after the exams are over and done?"

Yokozawa looks away and seems reluctant to answer "I'll be fine," he says after what felt like hours to Zen. Remembering Professor Miyagi's words he sends a quiet apology towards the man cause he kind of asked what he promised not to. _'Oh well now that I asked it anyway I can test my limits, right?'_ he thinks not completely sure of it

They arrive at the cafeteria before he even fully realized it yet "Okay so this is the cafeteria it may not seem that big, but seeing that most departments have different hours it never gets completely full. Plus most students eat outside if they have enough time before there next class" I'm really happy to see he's actually listening to me when I explain even the most obvious things "so if you don't have a lot of time this is a good option and if you rather eat something else I know a lot of good places in a walking distance from here. If you're interested of course" I tell him with a smile, but I see him avoiding my eyes most of the time

_'Why won't he look at me did I say something wrong?'_ I push those thoughts back for now and decided to test my limits just hoping I won't destroy the already small chance of him opening up to me _'this is gonna be tricky'_

"Is there something wrong or do you any questions" he looks up still not really looking at me though

"Not really" he states as calm as always

_'Here we go'_ I take a deep breath before I speak "so was it the same at your previous school?" His expression doesn't change, but he's still not looking at me "should I take the silence for a yes or a no because if your nothing saying anything I won't know" he finally looks at me with a scowl on his face although if you look carefully enough you'll find a different expression hidden in his eyes. Something most people will never see because of how good he can hide them. Even for me, I know it's there, but I don't know what exactly I'm looking at

"Look I know I pretty much forced you to go with me but is it really too much to ask for a little conversation now and then. You don't have to talk a lot just a little is okay, ne? I look at him carefully

"It was much bigger" he suddenly said

"Eh?" Getting caught off guard by his sudden statement I see the tiniest smile form on his face it was only there for a second _'did I just imagine that'_ it was such a rare sight so it has to be my imagination

"The cafeteria" finally remembering my question I realized I must've looked like an idiot standing there with my mouth half open and my eyes slightly wider than usual "and really crowed"

"You don't like crowded places?" Yokozawa shook his head "I don't really mind them from time to time, to be honest" I say to keep the conversation going

"I think we're done here, plus I think you really wanna rest up before the next class," I say hoping hell answer so the conversation doesn't turn into an awkward silence

"I still got to unpack first though," he said as he started to walk next to me and we exited the cafeteria together

"Do you mind that we make a detour towards the dorms?" I ask him first before I decide anything else

He looks at me a little suspicious "why?"

"Well, I thought while we walk towards the dorm I could show you the outside area and fields of the campus. They're pretty good spots to eat when the weather is nice" I smile pleadingly at him trying to see if he would agree to this request of mine

He released a heavy breath before looking back at me "you're the babysitter, I mean guide" that was the first time he used such a tone _'I have to say I like the snarky remark'_

"Touché, but who knew you could give such a remark after being so silent all the time. Don't tell me the reason you were so quiet was that you were thinking about the right time to say that" I smile at him slyly

He rolled his eyes "if believing that helps you sleep at night you can think that" was it just me or are his responses getting longer and longer

"Thinking of your grumpy face will certainly help me sleep tonight" I smile at him and give him a wink before I turn around and walk towards the path that runs through the campus. Without looking back I know he rolled his eyes again while sighing

[Time skip to after there outside tour]

Our conversation went on like that till we finally were in front of the dorms "which room number is yours so I know where I need to deliver mister grumpy face to" he glared at me with the scowl I'm already used to _'with that scowl on his face he would look intimidating, but to me he such looks like a little kid who doesn't get what he wants. So cute'_ I smile at this thought and I'm sure that the young male thinks I'm crazy I don't blame him for it though

"There is no need for that" his voice back to his normal calm tone

"I promised professor Miyagi that I'll show around campus and that also includes showing you to your room and help you settle in" I say giving him no room to object

He sighs "floor 6 room 1618"

"Oh"

"What" he asks me even though I'm pretty sure he doesn't really wanna know what I'm thinking about

"Nothing it's just that my friend lives on the same floor" I say casually "so what do you think about me showing you to your room?" I bow my head to him in a mocking manner

"Do you act like this towards everyone" his voice sounded a tad bit colder when he said that

"I never heard any complaints so what's the harm in it" I say honestly

"You gonna get in trouble with that attitude sooner then later" I stare at him my smile still stuck on my face

"What you mean by that" honestly curious why he said that

He just shrugs "so are you gonna show me my room or..." just straight out ignoring my question 

even though it looks like he's opening up I feel like the things he says is to prevent exactly that from happening. like he puts on a strong/scary mien to keep people at a distance _'why doesn't he want anyone coming close to him?'_ I really start to wonder why I have the urge to pry him open, lay all him bare and to know all about him. It's weird for me to not be able to read someone. most of the time I know at least the basics of their personality just by a little conversation or by observing them, but this man is different. He's like a perfect safe that no one even remembers the codes from, forgotten for so long that he doesn't even know himself.

When I finally broke out of my thoughts I saw yokozawa standing there uncomfortable as he was staring at the ground. Then it hits me that I was watching him the whole time. I'm starting to look like a real creep if I keep this up

_'Baka, what the fuck are you doing, stop thinking about all of this when you're all alone with the guy himself. He'll really think I'm some kind of creep'_ I sigh as I gather my thoughts hopefully once and for all 'yeah, who am I kidding'

"Sorry I'm was spacing out a little too much" I scratch the back of my head and give him a little nervous laugh

He looks at me carefully and slowly nods his head. Looks like we're back to the start

"Okay so we're we, oh yeah I was gonna show you to your room" I say hoping this breaks the awkward atmosphere even a little "follow me" he starts to follow me, but instead of walking next to me he walks behind me preventing any form of further communication or eye contact

We walk through the entrance and make our way to the stairs. I start to walk slower and soon we're back walking side by side "so as you can see the dorms are equipped with an elevator next to the stairs in case of physical emergencies or if you're on one of the top floors like yourself" I say this as I press the button of the elevator 

When the elevator arrives I walk in and after a little hesitation, he follows me inside. I ask him "Floor six right?" he nods nervously and I press the button. The doors close and we start moving, as we're going up I hear a shaky breath behind me and as I look in his direction I catch him looking nervous. 'Is he shaking' while thinking this I see a tiny drop of sweat rolling down his forehead this makes me worry "Are you okay? yours looking a little pale" I'm seriously starting to worry when I see a pained expression cross his face

I see he wants to answer but is unable to execute this action. Seeing we're close to the sixth floor I ask him to hang in there for a little bit longer. He nods in understanding and I see the relief wash over his face as the door of the elevator opens. I go towards him at first he flinched away but lets me help him out of the elevator. I support him as he sits down for a bit, where he seems to calm down after a few deep breaths. I squad down in front of him "Feeling better?" I quietly ask so not to startle him

"mmh" is the only answer I get from him on the moment

"Just take deep breaths and we'll go to your room when you calmed down okay" I never thought I would see such a reaction from this man in front of me, but it makes me wanna know the reason of this reaction like is it just because he can't stand them or did something happen in the past. of course, this isn't the right moment to ask so I'll let it slide for now

When I think he's calmed down enough to move forward I stand up and after another minute I help him stands up as well "thank you" he quietly mummers 

I let go of him when I see he's okay to walk on his own "your room is at the end of this hall" we arrive at his room an I ask him for his keys, which he takes out of his pocket and unlocks the door himself. I walk in after him so I can explain that last thing before leaving him to unpack and settle in. The room looks only slightly different then Gou's before he decorated it, to make it feel _'Homier'_ I laughed at this phrasing, but looking at this empty space, besides the few boxes under the window, that it was indeed much homier with all that stuff inside.

"you sure your okay now?" I keep asking him the same question even though it clearly starts to irritate him I can't help it, I just want an answer

He nods "yeah, I ..." he hesitates a little before completing his sentence "I'm not so good with elevators" even though it's clear to me that he's lying I'm letting it slide seeing how withdrawn he gets when I ask about this topic _'I'm sure something must have happened to him'_

"They're only a few things you need to know when your living here" I lean against the wall and look towards the male that is looking around this new environment. The moment he looks back at me I continue "for starters, there is no curfew so you can come and go as you please, but don't make a lot of noise so not to disturb any of the other residents that may be studying" As I go over the few rules and unspoken agreements he listens quietly and nods his had from to time "so any questions?" just like usual Yokozawa just shakes his head negatively 

He walks towards the door and with just one look I get what he means and go after him "you don't need any help unpacking?" I ask a little teasingly

"No, I'll be fine"

"You sure" I lean forward so our faces are only a few centimeters apart. His eyes widen and he pushes me away lightly, but I don't miss that expression. An expression I don't recognize and hate for some unknown reason

I take a step back to not aggravate him any more than I already did. He takes a deep breath before looking back up "you know it will go quicker with two people right?" I try for the last time

He starts to get frustrated seeing that I don't get the hint "no thank you" and then he does something I never expected, he pushed me, he literally pushed me out of his room and right before he closes the door he says "thank you for the tour, but it ends here" I laugh at his remark and I hear the door click shut

"I'll see you later in class Yokozawa-san" I say through the door and start my journey towards my own home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: hope you enjoyed this chapter cause next time there will also be parts told through Yokozawa's P.O.V. so stay tuned
> 
> Like usual character thoughts are in italics and if you see mistakes please tell me so I can fix them as soon as possible
> 
> For now, see you all next week


	4. The tour

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See the end for more notes

[Kirishima's P.O.V.]

"Okay seeing that our next class is on the other side of the building, let us start from here and walk towards that one and I'll explain as we pass the lecture halls we have a lesson in okay?" I look to the quiet boy next to me hopping on a bigger reaction than a simple nod, but that looks impossible for him _'this is gonna be harder then I thought'_

I decided to try to make some small talk, just keeping it simple to begin "so what do you think so far" he looks at me with a slightly confused expression "I mean the university, I know you only had this one lesson, but what do you think?" It was a simple question

"It was okay," he says calmly and clearly not intending to say more

"Well it was only one lesson you can't really conclude things with only that plus it was more explanations for the upcoming exams then an actual lecture" I try to make for this silence by talking more and hoping he'll talk more as we're nearing the next lecture hall

"Well here we are this is professor Usami's class, he gives English, Japanese and Chinese although we only have English from him" as I tell him I see an unasked question lingering in his eyes _'should I ask him what he wants to know or should I wait till he asks himself'_ I wait for few seconds, but don't feel like he'll ask me anytime soon

"Any questions so far?" He looks a little startled by the fact I knew he had one he opens his mouth slightly, but closes it almost immediately "you can ask whatever, that's why I'm here in the first place"

After a bit of pushing, he finally asked: "Usami as in Usami Akihiko?" Oh, I didn't expect that question at least not with that expression on. Not a lot of people speak about him with such admiration in their eyes, well most of my friends hadn't read any or given up cause they not quite understand it

"Yeah, you like his works?" I ask honestly curious to see if there will be a common interest to talk with him about, maybe something I can open him up with. Something to open on of those heavy locked doors that block the path to his heart

"hmm" I'm a little sad he doesn't reply with more words, but I'm not giving up. I look at him hoping he understands that I wanna hear more from him. 

"When did you start reading his works and which ones did you already read" I half ask this to make sure he's not playing with me and the other half is pure curiosity. I see him thinking about what to say next, that's a good sign right. this may lead to a bigger response than previous and hopefully, I get to know something more about him

I see him opening his mouth, but closes it again before he hesitantly answers in a quiet, smooth and most importantly a calm voice "twelve and all of his works that are out at the moment" this answer shocked me cause his books are mostly aimed at young adults so reading it on that age is pretty impressive, he even read them all 

_'Seriously how fast did he grow up'_ before I knew what was happening I was already staring at him in disbelieve "T-twelve! Y-you have to be kidding me and you even read all of them literally all of them!" It's the first time in a while since someone made me lost for words. I don't even try to mask my surprise

He looks insulted by what I just say with a frown, the kind of frown I wanna erase from his face as soon as it came "sorry it just surprised me a little, most of his works are aimed for our age and older. So to find out you've read them since you were twelve, saying it's impressive is putting it lightly" as I say this the furrow between his brows eases just a tiny bit "Most people I know only start to understand it now or still don't understand it. How come you've read them so early?" I'm really hoping on a longer answer then before although the chance of that is really slim

He looks a tad uncomfortable and doesn't look like he wants to answer, but then "My parents gave me one of his books" _'his parents! would people really give this heavy form of literature to a twelve-year-old?'_ he throws one shock after the other.

"Reading it at that age did actually understand it?" I saw the furrow between his brows come back and I quickly tried to explain what I meant "ah, sorry no offense, but it's just shocking seeing that most adults don't even understand it so" I scratched the back of my head awkwardly hoping I didn't mess up

He just shook his head not saying anything at all, seeing he doesn't wanna talk about the subject any further I gave up, at least for now

"Anyway, why don't we move on to our next destination," I say hoping to lighten the mood. He just nods and starts to follow me to our next stop _'it looks like I really gonna need to know my limits with this one'_ I think as we're making our way through the hallways 

On our way through the school I keep trying to make small talk, but he only replies with short answers our simple nods of the head. It's the first time someone doesn't warm up to me quickly, it's both exciting and frustrating. It feels like this will be a fun challenge

After Kirishima had shown Yokozawa around all the lecture halls they have lessons in, he drags him towards the cafeteria. On his way, he tries once more to get a longer response then only yes and no "How do you think you'll do on the exams, I mean cause you transferred right before them instead of the more logical choice in transferring after the exams are over and done?"

Yokozawa looks away and seems reluctant to answer "I'll be fine," he says after what felt like hours to Zen. Remembering Professor Miyagi's words he sends a quiet apology towards the man cause he kind of asked what he promised not to. _'Oh well now that I asked it anyway I can test my limits, right?'_ he thinks not completely sure of it

They arrive at the cafeteria before he even fully realized it yet "Okay so this is the cafeteria it may not seem that big, but seeing that most departments have different hours it never gets completely full. Plus most students eat outside if they have enough time before there next class" I'm really happy to see he's actually listening to me when I explain even the most obvious things "so if you don't have a lot of time this is a good option and if you rather eat something else I know a lot of good places in a walking distance from here. If you're interested of course" I tell him with a smile, but I see him avoiding my eyes most of the time

 _'Why won't he look at me did I say something wrong?'_ I push those thoughts back for now and decided to test my limits just hoping I won't destroy the already small chance of him opening up to me _'this is gonna be tricky'_

"Is there something wrong or do you any questions" he looks up still not really looking at me though

"Not really" he states as calm as always

 _'Here we go'_ I take a deep breath before I speak "so was it the same at your previous school?" His expression doesn't change, but he's still not looking at me "should I take the silence for a yes or a no because if your nothing saying anything I won't know" he finally looks at me with a scowl on his face although if you look carefully enough you'll find a different expression hidden in his eyes. Something most people will never see because of how good he can hide them. Even for me, I know it's there, but I don't know what exactly I'm looking at

"Look I know I pretty much forced you to go with me but is it really too much to ask for a little conversation now and then. You don't have to talk a lot just a little is okay, ne? I look at him carefully

"It was much bigger" he suddenly said

"Eh?" Getting caught off guard by his sudden statement I see the tiniest smile form on his face it was only there for a second _'did I just imagine that'_ it was such a rare sight so it has to be my imagination

"The cafeteria" finally remembering my question I realized I must've looked like an idiot standing there with my mouth half open and my eyes slightly wider than usual "and really crowed"

"You don't like crowded places?" Yokozawa shook his head "I don't really mind them from time to time, to be honest" I say to keep the conversation going

"I think we're done here, plus I think you really wanna rest up before the next class," I say hoping hell answer so the conversation doesn't turn into an awkward silence

"I still got to unpack first though," he said as he started to walk next to me and we exited the cafeteria together

"Do you mind that we make a detour towards the dorms?" I ask him first before I decide anything else

He looks at me a little suspicious "why?"

"Well, I thought while we walk towards the dorm I could show you the outside area and fields of the campus. They're pretty good spots to eat when the weather is nice" I smile pleadingly at him trying to see if he would agree to this request of mine

He released a heavy breath before looking back at me "you're the babysitter, I mean guide" that was the first time he used such a tone _'I have to say I like the snarky remark'_

"Touché, but who knew you could give such a remark after being so silent all the time. Don't tell me the reason you were so quiet was that you were thinking about the right time to say that" I smile at him slyly

He rolled his eyes "if believing that helps you sleep at night you can think that" was it just me or are his responses getting longer and longer

"Thinking of your grumpy face will certainly help me sleep tonight" I smile at him and give him a wink before I turn around and walk towards the path that runs through the campus. Without looking back I know he rolled his eyes again while sighing

[Time skip to after there outside tour]

Our conversation went on like that till we finally were in front of the dorms "which room number is yours so I know where I need to deliver mister grumpy face to" he glared at me with the scowl I'm already used to _'with that scowl on his face he would look intimidating, but to me he such looks like a little kid who doesn't get what he wants. So cute'_ I smile at this thought and I'm sure that the young male thinks I'm crazy I don't blame him for it though

"There is no need for that" his voice back to his normal calm tone

"I promised professor Miyagi that I'll show around campus and that also includes showing you to your room and help you settle in" I say giving him no room to object

He sighs "floor 6 room 1618"

"Oh"

"What" he asks me even though I'm pretty sure he doesn't really wanna know what I'm thinking about

"Nothing it's just that my friend lives on the same floor" I say casually "so what do you think about me showing you to your room?" I bow my head to him in a mocking manner

"Do you act like this towards everyone" his voice sounded a tad bit colder when he said that

"I never heard any complaints so what's the harm in it" I say honestly

"You gonna get in trouble with that attitude sooner then later" I stare at him my smile still stuck on my face

"What you mean by that" honestly curious why he said that

He just shrugs "so are you gonna show me my room or..." just straight out ignoring my question 

even though it looks like he's opening up I feel like the things he says is to prevent exactly that from happening. like he puts on a strong/scary mien to keep people at a distance _'why doesn't he want anyone coming close to him?'_ I really start to wonder why I have the urge to pry him open, lay all him bare and to know all about him. It's weird for me to not be able to read someone. most of the time I know at least the basics of their personality just by a little conversation or by observing them, but this man is different. He's like a perfect safe that no one even remembers the codes from, forgotten for so long that he doesn't even know himself.

When I finally broke out of my thoughts I saw yokozawa standing there uncomfortable as he was staring at the ground. Then it hits me that I was watching him the whole time. I'm starting to look like a real creep if I keep this up

 _'Baka, what the fuck are you doing, stop thinking about all of this when you're all alone with the guy himself. He'll really think I'm some kind of creep'_ I sigh as I gather my thoughts hopefully once and for all 'yeah, who am I kidding'

"Sorry I'm was spacing out a little too much" I scratch the back of my head and give him a little nervous laugh

He looks at me carefully and slowly nods his head. Looks like we're back to the start

"Okay so we're we, oh yeah I was gonna show you to your room" I say hoping this breaks the awkward atmosphere even a little "follow me" he starts to follow me, but instead of walking next to me he walks behind me preventing any form of further communication or eye contact

We walk through the entrance and make our way to the stairs. I start to walk slower and soon we're back walking side by side "so as you can see the dorms are equipped with an elevator next to the stairs in case of physical emergencies or if you're on one of the top floors like yourself" I say this as I press the button of the elevator 

When the elevator arrives I walk in and after a little hesitation, he follows me inside. I ask him "Floor six right?" he nods nervously and I press the button. The doors close and we start moving, as we're going up I hear a shaky breath behind me and as I look in his direction I catch him looking nervous. 'Is he shaking' while thinking this I see a tiny drop of sweat rolling down his forehead this makes me worry "Are you okay? yours looking a little pale" I'm seriously starting to worry when I see a pained expression cross his face

I see he wants to answer but is unable to execute this action. Seeing we're close to the sixth floor I ask him to hang in there for a little bit longer. He nods in understanding and I see the relief wash over his face as the door of the elevator opens. I go towards him at first he flinched away but lets me help him out of the elevator. I support him as he sits down for a bit, where he seems to calm down after a few deep breaths. I squad down in front of him "Feeling better?" I quietly ask so not to startle him

"mmh" is the only answer I get from him on the moment

"Just take deep breaths and we'll go to your room when you calmed down okay" I never thought I would see such a reaction from this man in front of me, but it makes me wanna know the reason of this reaction like is it just because he can't stand them or did something happen in the past. of course, this isn't the right moment to ask so I'll let it slide for now

When I think he's calmed down enough to move forward I stand up and after another minute I help him stands up as well "thank you" he quietly mummers 

I let go of him when I see he's okay to walk on his own "your room is at the end of this hall" we arrive at his room an I ask him for his keys, which he takes out of his pocket and unlocks the door himself. I walk in after him so I can explain that last thing before leaving him to unpack and settle in. The room looks only slightly different then Gou's before he decorated it, to make it feel _'Homier'_ I laughed at this phrasing, but looking at this empty space, besides the few boxes under the window, that it was indeed much homier with all that stuff inside.

"you sure your okay now?" I keep asking him the same question even though it clearly starts to irritate him I can't help it, I just want an answer

He nods "yeah, I ..." he hesitates a little before completing his sentence "I'm not so good with elevators" even though it's clear to me that he's lying I'm letting it slide seeing how withdrawn he gets when I ask about this topic _'I'm sure something must have happened to him'_

"They're only a few things you need to know when your living here" I lean against the wall and look towards the male that is looking around this new environment. The moment he looks back at me I continue "for starters, there is no curfew so you can come and go as you please, but don't make a lot of noise so not to disturb any of the other residents that may be studying" As I go over the few rules and unspoken agreements he listens quietly and nods his had from to time "so any questions?" just like usual Yokozawa just shakes his head negatively 

He walks towards the door and with just one look I get what he means and go after him "you don't need any help unpacking?" I ask a little teasingly

"No, I'll be fine"

"You sure" I lean forward so our faces are only a few centimeters apart. His eyes widen and he pushes me away lightly, but I don't miss that expression. An expression I don't recognize and hate for some unknown reason

I take a step back to not aggravate him any more than I already did. He takes a deep breath before looking back up "you know it will go quicker with two people right?" I try for the last time

He starts to get frustrated seeing that I don't get the hint "no thank you" and then he does something I never expected, he pushed me, he literally pushed me out of his room and right before he closes the door he says "thank you for the tour, but it ends here" I laugh at his remark and I hear the door click shut

"I'll see you later in class Yokozawa-san" I say through the door and start my journey towards my own home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: hope you enjoyed this chapter cause next time there will also be parts told through Yokozawa's P.O.V. so stay tuned
> 
> Like usual character thoughts are in italics and if you see mistakes please tell me so I can fix them as soon as possible
> 
> For now, see you all next week


	5. What's wrong with me?

[Kirishima's P.O.V.]

I stepped out of the elevator and as I'm walking out of the building my phone goes off. When I look at my screen I see the familiar name of my girlfriend pop with a message

[Sakura] hey zen would you mind if we meet up at 1pm instead of 12:30pm?

Only know to remember their promise of meeting up for lunch. Strangely not feeling in the mood to go out to be with anyone right now, I send off a quick message to apologize

[Zen] I'm sorry I don't really feel like going anywhere right now. Would you mind we meet up another time for lunch?

He could off send a text to say he's busy with the new boy, but lying is something he'll never do to someone he cares about

Sakura answers almost immediately

[Sakura] That's quite alright Zen. Are you feeling okay though?

He smiles at her understanding

[Zen] I'm fine Sakura just a little light-headed, I'll be fine after some rest and maybe something light to eat and some water

_'Although I don't really believe that's the case, I'll have to be, right?'_

[Sakura] you want me to bring something over to eat?

She definitely asked me this cause she knows how a disaster I am in the kitchen. I laugh as she literally said that to me like every time I enter a kitchen.

 _'After all this time we have known each other, she must know that I have given up trying to make anything that relates with food'_ I sign before texting her back

[Zen] haha don't worry I won't attempt to cook something. I'll just stop by the convenience store for a salad before going home

[Sakura] okay then it's fine, but I'll see you after our last class to talk okay?

[Zen] haii~ 😉

[Sakura] oh and one more thing

I'm getting curious my her message is there something important I'm mist today

[Zen] and what's that?

[Sakura] don't you dare run away this time Zen

I just feel the dark aura coming from that message. It makes me laugh as I remember all the times I actually ran away from her. It sometimes leads to being literally being chased by her, she's scarily fast. Not feeling like exerting any unnecessary energy today I reply simply

[Zen] I won't~ I promise

[Sakura] good the I'll see you later. love you xxx

[Zen] lyt xx

I put my phone back in my pocket and go to the parking lot to find my car. seeing his good memory he finds his car immediately and gets in. hoping he can think over everything before his next and last class of today, his least favorite, math. even though he's good at it just like his other subjects, he just didn't like it. It has nothing to with the prof, but more the subject itself, he just opts words for numbers any time

He parks his car in front of the convenience store near his house so he can purchase a light lunch and some other necessities he needs, like tissues, toilet paper, bread, water, soda, vegetables and some fruit.

as he makes his way through the store he checks off his mental list, on his way he picks up some other things he may need or likes. He arrives at the fridges that contain the salads, there so many choices he has a hard time choosing one. In the end, he picked one with chicken, his favorite vegetables and a low-calorie dressing.

I put everything on the conveyor belt and wait till it's my time to pay. the woman at the register scans all my groceries a little to slow then I like, but I guess it's only because I wanna go home as quickly as possible "that will be 2150 yen please" the moment she looks at me a see a slight blush graze her face _'Ah here we go again, can't I be not attractive for one day'_ I grab my wallet and give her 2200 yen

"here, you can keep the change," I say with the best smile I can muster at the moment, hoping to get out of there real soon.

"ah thank you" she gives a little smile of her own and a slight bow of the head, I can see the blush growing with every second _'yeah I really need to get out of here'_ I pack my stuff and walk out of the store in a quicker pace than usual

I put everything in the back of my car and drive towards my final destination, Home. When I get into the parking garage of my apartment building I park my car, get out and take my groceries out. Once inside I take the elevator not in the mood to drag my groceries up the stairs. I unlock my door and enter my home _'the only place I can truly relax and think'_

Hearing a rumble erupt from my belly I quickly put my stuff away and take my salad with a fork to the small table in front of the tv.

I sit down on the couch and turn on the tv trying to find something interesting, seeing that nothing picks his interest he put on a comedy show and starts digging in his mild lunch.

After a few minutes, he realizes that he hasn't been able to concentrate on the comedian at all. Instead, his thought constantly converts back to those eyes, those peculiar steel grey eyes that conceal so many emotions. Raw emotions that aren't normal for someone of his age _'I'm sure something happened to him, something that is everything but positive'_

Also, his rough voice that's oddly enough very gentle is a whole other story _'He may speak in a monotone way, but I'm certain that he just doesn't wanna show emotion in any way. I'm pretty sure of the fact that if only he would let his emotions come out his voice will certainly be the kind you'll easily get addicted to. A voice you don't want to share with anyone, but yourself'_ Thoughts like this fill my mind again and again _'what the hell am I thinking about, this isn't normal right. I don't know the first thing about him, but still, I can't stop thinking about him'_

 _'is it because he's new, different or mysterious, I just can't seem to decipher him, or myself for that matter' he laughs at how pathetic he feels 'well nothing will change by just sitting here'_ he picks up the half-finished salad and throws it away. putting his fork in the sink, making a mental note to clean it up later. he looks at the time and sees that's it only was only 1:40pm yet I take a deep breath and try to think what I'll do before my class of 4pm _'guess I'll just walk to school, maybe I can read a little in the park nearby'_

He takes his phone out of the charger, pocket his wallet, keys, earphones and as lasts the newest book of Usami sensei. afterward, he puts on his shoes, picks a jacket from the rack and leaves

The moment his door shuts close he connects his earphones with his phone and searches for his favorite playlist to listen to while walking/reading. He takes the stairs and starts his twenty-minute walk to the park close to his university 

He enters the lucky for him almost empty park, the schools around here all end at 4pm by that time he'll be gone already. He's grateful for the quiet environment so he can read in peace, even if it was only for one and a half hours. he quickly finds the perfect reading spot under these sakura threes that are starting to form there beautiful light pink petals _'It's not as good as my usual reading spot, but close enough'_ and he goes over to the sakura threes

I take my seat under the three and open my book and start reading it, although after a few pages I regret to read this book now. The storyline so far is exactly the kind of story I don't need right now _'Why does the situation of the main character need to be so similar to mine now'_ I sign deeply. It's about a guy who meets this mysterious girl who seems to have closed herself up from society. On the outside, she may seem cool and unapproachable , but on the inside, she's scared for life. The guy just can't get her out of his head without even knowing if he'll ever see or hear from her again, the only difference that in my case she is a he

 _'that girl is just like hi- no I really need to stop thinking about that'_ I seriously don't know what's wrong with me anymore. I came here to relax and not think, but the books that always cause that effect don't work anymore _'what am I supposed to do'_ I put the book down next to make and pull my legs against my chest and lay my head on them, al the while looking at the scenery in front of me _'what would he be doing now, probably unpacking his stuff or getting lunch'_ Normally I keep people at bay as long as I don't recognize them as "real" friends I can trust, friends that want to spend time with for who I am instead of my looks or brains _'but that man he's different, with him I'm on the other side I want to get close to him because of those eyes'_ "ugh I'm such a horrible person" I mumble to myself 

As I sit there trying to not think about the male with emphasis on "trying" I realize that an hour already passed. It's only ten minutes from the park to school he still has a big fifty over _'well instead of dwelling on these thoughts any longer I better find the answers straight from the source'_ I stand up, pick my book from the ground and leave the park _'hope he won't mind my sudden visit, better not get my hopes up'_

_'well we won't know till we get there'_

[Yokozawa's P.O.V.]

The moment that guy is out the door, I turn my back to the door and slide down. I put my knees against my chest and bury my head between them, in the hope of calming down now that I'm finally alone.

 _'Why, Why can't they all just leave me alone. I'm fine on my own I don't need anyone'_ I seriously wonder if life is playing an awful trick on me, did I do something wrong. Like why couldn't one of the professors or employees show me around _'No they needed to ask a guy like that, he's exactly the type of guy I can't stand'_ I feel like that guy thinks he knows everything and who will just intrude in your life without giving you a choice. _'He's the total opposite of-'_ I shake those thoughts away before too many memories can find there way in my head and towards my eyes

I look back up and just stare at all the boxes full of all the stuff I managed to take here with the help of my sister, without her I know for sure those boxes wouldn't be here nor would I. If it wasn't for her I would still be stuck there with _'STOP, just stop thinking about it'_ before any tears can form I try to stand up cause those boxes won't unpack themself

I walk towards them and slide my fingers over the tape that separates me from all kinds of things that are me, the more I trace the lines of the tape the more I feel like I'm disappearing.

 _'sadly enough I can't because there is someone I wanna spare from going through that ever'_ I take a deep breath, while I decide to open up the boxes with my bedsheets and one of the boxes with books I've collected over the years

I just finished making up my bed and look around it's a lot smaller than my previous room, it has a little bathroom just how I like it. Although if I look at the little kitchen I suddenly feel sadness welling up, it would be enough if it was used for small things it had barely enough space to make a decent meal for two. only after seeing the kitchen does the loneliness hits me _'two ka'_ I go back to the pile of boxes and open up the first one that contains part of my book collection.

The first book I pick up is the last thing to push my tear ducts over the edge _'why hold back anymore I'm alone so no one will see nor care if I let go'_ with this statement I just let the tears spill out without holding back. I fall on my bed with the book clenched between my arms 

I stayed like this till my knuckles turned white from the strong grip I have on the book, as I sit up my tears have long since dried up _'I must look horrible'_ I take the book and put it under my bed so I won't need to look at it again anytime soon 

to distract myself I take the box that contains the items for the bathroom and make my way to said room, once inside he tried to avoid looking at himself as long as possible. He opened the box and started to stash everything away in there rightful place. Everything went well till he came across a certain little wooden box that's locked 

Even though I promised her that I won't use this anymore I still have it, I walk over to the garbage bin in the corner of the bathroom and as I'm about to throw it away I hesitate _'I can't throw them away I just can't'_ so instead of throwing them away I just put them in the back of the little cabinet above the sink. I close the cabinet after I've put everything away and see myself in the mirror, the biggest mistake of the day

My eyes are red and puffy from all the crying, this only makes my weird colored eyes even uglier _'They're such_ a rare color I just couldn't help myself from looking' the words of that man suddenly flood through my head _'see even some random stranger thinks their weird'_ I huff at my own thoughts. Plus if my eyes weren't bad enough there is still this face on its own, it's just to pale plus with this dark hair I look like a goth or even a ghost. It doesn't matter how many times people say I look fine, I know they're lying _'There all just lying'_

I look down at my hands that are clenched with an intensity, which makes my knuckles turn white all over again. _'what the fuck am I even doing'_ I take a deep breath and decide to take a shower to calm down

I prepare a pair of fresh clothes and a towel, I turn on the shower so it can warm up while I undress. When I through the last piece of clothing off I get into the small shower cabinet. after I checked the temperature of the water I get under the spray of hot water. When the water hits my exhausted body it's almost like I can just disappear down the drain. I flinch when the water glides over certain sensitive spots on my body, but I have no intention of moving to stop the pain. The only thing I know is that pain is the only thing that reminds me that I'm actually alive, it binds me to this world

I eventually started moving after a good twenty minutes of just standing there. I started by washing my hair, scrubbing much harder than necessary. Followed by my body not caring that my body aches every time I brush over certain parts of my body 

When leaving the shower I quickly dry myself off, so that I can put on my clothes _'I don't wanna look at this any longer'_ he rapidly puts on his clothes and brushes a towel through his black hair while exiting the bathroom

When I look at my phone I see it's already 2:50pm and that I only have an hour left before class starts lucky for me it's one of my favorite subjects. Seeing that I have time I start to put away my clothes, afterward I'll start sorting my books

I was in the middle of ordering my books when suddenly his phones goes off and some of the books he was carrying fell on the ground, while one of them fell on his foot "aw" he hisses out in pain as he starts rubbing the spot the book fell on when all of a sudden

*Knock* *Knock* *Knock*

 _'Can't they just leave me alone outside of class'_ I start feeling uncomfortable and nervous when the knocking doesn't stop but gets quicker. I hurry up and ignore the pain on my foot and open the door. When I open the door I see the guy from this afternoon standing outside, what was his name again, with what looks like a worried expression on his face, it seems to dissipate from his face after seeing me _'why would he be worried about a stranger, moreover if that stranger is me'_

"what are you doing here?" I say while trying to conceal everything as best as I can

he looks a little flustered by my sudden question, but quickly regains himself "Just wondering if you were alright and if you had any question, after you've done some thinking" he gives me that smile again a smile that looks genuine, but I know better then to trust someone that smiles so easily without a care in the world _'I'm pretty sure that he was pampered since childhood, in a loving family'_ I feel a different kind of sadness coming up so I push those thoughts back as far as they can get, as not to show them in front of anyone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: heeey so I hope you enjoyed this chapter and the first insights in Yokozawa's pov. I really hoped I portrayed him in the way I wanted to and that it will get through to you guys. I'm still uncertain about the exact way I want this story to go, so I hope you guys won't mind if I ask you guys for help with simple choices I just can't decide on.
> 
> well that was all for now like usual thoughts are in character thoughts are in italics and underlined text are if someone recalls a statement said previously by someone else
> 
> I'll see you all next time


	6. Number

[Kirishima's P.O.V.]

I was shocked when he asked me to forget it in my head I understood, but something in me just refused to. How can he just forget what happend, it already happend twice _'it's better to let it go for now, better to go slow with if I ever want him to open up'_

The rest of the lecture proceeded smoothly, it was mostly listening to the bickering between Gou and Haruka. Those two will never change or agree with one another. Even though it was difficult to ignore, I kept stealing glancing at the male on the other side of me. He was constantly focused on what he was doing

His beautiful handwriting was just like he was typing every letter, number or small details by hand, it was both organized and well-arranged. he seems like the type that could explain everything to anyone and they would guaranteed understand it all

The other thing I took notice of is how calm he appears, there was even a ghost of a smile on his thin, perfect shaped lips _'if only he would direct a smile at me'_. I'm pretty sure now that he wasn't kidding when he said math calms him down. He seems to go up in it, like he's in a different world, a world for him alone. Also with only one glance at his work you'd know he's really smart

"right zen!" 

"Zen?..." "zen?" Haruka pulls me out of my previous task of glancing at the male by involving me back in their conversation

"sorry what did you say?" by the look in not only Haruka's eyes, but also Gou's I know that I must've looked truly out of it. Scratching my head awkwardly I try to prepare myself for what's certain about to come

"Your alright man, you've been distracted a lot lately?" through the corner of my eye I see no reaction out of the man sitting right from me _'even though he isn't paying attention to us, I can't just say I'm thinking about him'_

"I don't like to say it, but Gou is right, for once" Haruka states flatly 

"What do you mean for once!?"

"I mean it the way I said it, which part did your tiny brain not understand?"

"that's rich coming from a woman who's ten places beneath me in the year ranking"

Haruka let's out a sound of frustration before elbowing Gou in his side "Ow" 

"Hahaha" I can't help but laugh at their banter, their just as childish and immature as the other "Y-you guys...are getting along...as...good as ever...I see" I manage to say between my laughs in

"WE ARE NOT!" they say simultaneously this only makes me laugh harder which has them joining in as consequence, gaining us a lot of curious looks by not only students, but also the teacher

So in the end we got scolded by the math teacher, so after bowing our heads and apologising we got back to our studies. I continued glancing at the male from time to time, I was mainly able to concentrate on my work and occasionally helping my friends out.

The rest of the class went by relatively fast and before I realised it the bell that signalized the end of the class started to ring. I started to gather up my stuff all the while listening to the millionth discussion between the those two. As I was to caught up in their bickering I failed to see that the grey eyed man was already going down the stairs right towards the door

fastening my pace I started to leave my seat having Haruka and Gou right behind me. We leave the hall and head to the exit of the building, so that I can catch up to the mysterious and intriguing male.

Seeing that the door hasn't fully closed yet I take bigger steps to reach the door. Once I'm outside I see Yokozawa walking not far away in a calm yet fast pace

"Yokozawa, wait a second" the male looks at me from over his shoulder "I want to ask you something" by the time I reach him, Yokozawa was fully facing me. A suspicious yet curious and questioning look in those steely grey eyes of his

"What is it?" his voice raspier then previously _'he looks tired, better not make him wait to long'_

"well-" before I could ask my question I got interrupted by a voice calling my name, a voice I would recognize anywhere I go 

I look behind me and see Sakura standing not to far away just as predicted, she has a slightly guilty look in her eyes presumably because she took notice of Yokozawa

"Ah sorry did I interrupt something?" the way she innocently tilts her head would make anyone who doesn't know her think she wasn't feeling guilty at all, but I know she did and that was all that mattered

"Don't worry about it, I'll just need a few minutes and then we can talk okay?" she nods her head and walks over to our friends who are sitting on a bench right outside the building we just left

I turn my attention back to a slightly more uncomfortable looking male then before "sorry about that"

he shook his head negatively "It's fine, so what did you want to ask?"

"I'll just get strait to the point, do you want to study at the library with us this saturday?" Yokozawa looks taken aback by my question, but not long after he regains his posture

"I don't know-" _'looks like that only made him even more uncomfortable, but I can't give up yet'_

"Don't worry even if it's a little crowed, it will be really quiet and calm seeing that everyone is preparing for the upcoming exams. And if it's my friends you ought to be worried about then don't worry, cause they already approved of you coming along" He folds his arms over his chest and putting one hand on his chin thoroughly considering my proposal _'he only needs one more push'_

"It's really efficient to study in group cause if you have a question, doesn't matter about what, there s guaranteed to be someone who can answer. plus the library here is large and spacious so there are a lot of books you can consult, in cases we don't know the answer either" he's deep in thought as he takes everything I just said into consideration "so what do you think?"

placing the hand that was previously on his chin back over his chest with the other _'please say yes, please say yes'_ I beg him in my head

He lets out a small sign before looking back at me "sure, what time?"

 _'Omg yes he said yes'_ "Where still discussing that with the people of the other departments, so why don't you give me your and I'll message we've decided on the details" He averts his gaze from mine

Just as I'm about to take back my comment and tell him it's okay, that I can tell him tomorrow in class he stretches his hand out towards me "Give me your phone" He says after a while of me just dumbly staring at his hand in confusion

"a-ah yeah" I fumble around in my pockets in search of my phone, when I finally managed to take it out I handed it over "Here you go" when he turned on my phone he paused for second before proceeding to put his contact information in my phone _'did he just hesitate? like I thought he doesn't really want to give his info to me. well it's a little late for that now'_

He gives my phone back to me with the screen still on contacts Yokozawa Takafumi (横澤隆史) _'so that's how you right his name'_ I stare at my phone for a few more seconds before looking back up "Thank you, I'll send the details later so you can save my contact to, you know in case you'll ever need it"

He nods his head in agreement "sure, well have a good evening Kirishima-san"

"yeah you to, see ya tomorrow" he nods his head once more before turning those mesmerizing eyes away and waling further away down the path, in the direction of the dorms. further and further away from him

I go back to the others where there still discussing about this saturday "and~ what did he say?" Haruka is the first to ask me

"he said yes and I askes his info so that I can message him when we decided on the details"

"looks like someone's getting lucky with the new kid" Gou teases me, but I ignore his comment like the mature man I am 

The others all start laughing when they see Gou's poor attempt at pouting 

"Well anyway let's get back to the point" Yuu takes the lead like the good senpai he is and wel start discussing again

____________________________________________________

[Time skip]

____________________________________________________

"See you all tomorrow" I wave my friends goodbye while Sakura and I are walking together so we can get some dinner to make up for the missed lunch date from this afternoon

"bye bye" Haruka says as she locks her arm with her girlfriend saeki, they've been going out for month, we all saw it coming and gave them our full support 

"they're really cute together aren't they" Sakura says with a lot of affection and genuine happiness for her childhood friend and her new lover

"yeah there great, they really suit each other. Haruka's energetic personality gets balanced out by saeki's calm demeanor" I say honestly as I remember all the times that all it takes was a few words of Saeki and Haruka would calm down instantly, it was funny but cute "although I think there is one more couple that suit each other perfectly" I smile at her and the slight surprise on her face makes it worth it

she shoves me playfully before giving a little chuckle of her own "moo, do you really need to be so cheesy all the time" I know she doesn't mean it by the way she says it

"you really want me to stop" while giving her a sideways, questioning smirk

"you already know the answer to that, don't ya" _'ah I can't win against her can I'_

we start nearing the exit of the park we passed through on our way "So where do you wanna eat tonight? It's my treat to make up for canceling on you earlier today" we stop momentarily while she's thinking. After a minute full of 'mmh' and 'let me think' she finally decided on the small café we frequent, the one where Aia works, and start walking again

Not long after we arrive at the small café. As I hold open the door for Sakura and enter after her, we get greeted by Aia haste immediately "hey you guys, a table for two I presume" lifting one of her eyebrows 

I roll my eyes at her while Sakura snickers at her enthusiasm "No I thought about coming here with my girlfriend, But to make it interesting we would take two different tables the furthest away from each other" I say with as much sarcasm I can muster

"Haha very funny Zen, anyway you can choose whichever table you want and I'll bring over the menu's in a sec" Aia walks into the kitchen as we start to settle down at our favorite table. The table stands besides one of the big windowns in the store, it has a beautiful view of the park next to it

I like coming on days we have classes until late in the evening, just like today, when there aren't many other customers. Like don't get me wrong I love places where there a lot f people, it's always fun to observe them and see what there up to. On the other side, on days like this, I love to go to places where it's calm and peaceful. Places where you can truly relax, also where you can enjoy a nice meal and/or a cup of coffee with friends or in my case my girlfriend

"It's a beautiful evening isn't it" I break my gaze away from the view outside and look over at Sakura who's tugging away a strand of hair behind her ear. The yellow-orange light that pours onto her makes her light brown hair appear golden, gives her skin a little glow and gives her warm brown eyes a golden sparkle. There is only one word that would describe her now 'beautiful'

When I don't answer her, she looks back at me and when our eyes meet she smiles lovingly at me and I naturally smile back at her

"I hate to ruin the moment, but would you like to take a look at the menu's or not?" Aia says, not guilty at all

We both roll our eyes at her behaviour and gladly accept the menu's she holds out to us "thank you Aia" I smile at her and the she leaves to tend to the few other customers

We look over our menu's and order two bowl of beef sukiyaki with oolong tea for me and a sparkling water for Sakura. Our drinks arrive and the food arrives after a good fifteen minutes later. We eat our food in silence for the most part, aside from the occasionally small talk

"could I get a caffè latte for me and a hot chocolate with marshmallows for the lovely lady?" I ask Aia as she's taking our bowls and empty glasses away

"sure, but wouldn't it be better to order something for your girlfriend before you give me something" 'did she really just say that, what am I gonna do with her' I shake my head "haha just kidding, there coming right up"

"she'll never change will she?" again we share the same thoughts 

"nope" we both start laughing. Aia comes back with our orders, gives me a mischievous smile and leaves us be "looks like she heard us"

After we both took some sips from our drinks Sakura asks me something unexpected "so how is the new kid?" I choke on my latte as I hear he sudden question

"What you mean by that?"

"Oh you know what I mean. How is he, like personality or why he came hear especially around this time of the year" even though it's an average and normale question I have no clue how to answer, seeing that I don't know the answer. plus the things I do know are things I can't share without his consent _'It's not like I can just say, ah you know he hides everything, doesn't talk to much and oh yeah he gets panic attacks in elevators and from unknown calls. That would be disrespectful towards him'_

 _'I just have to think about something else, not saying anything isn't lying right'_ "It's only been the first day, how am I supposed to know all that" she looks at me strangely "What?"

"It's just weird for you to say that" seeing that my confused expression isn't leaving my face anytime soon she continues "well your one of the few people I know that people easily open up to, like after only a short period of time they'll answer pretty much all questions that aren't all to personal, and sometimes even those" everything she's saying is true in all the cases, but this one is different, he's different

"looks like even my charms have their exceptions" as I'm scratching my head I try to avoid eye contact with her, otherwise I'm sure I'll say things I'm gonna regret later "I think he may be the type that likes to keep to himself maybe shy, although he doesn't look to fit that characteristic. What I do know is that he's really neat and organized, at least that's what I think after seeing the way he writes things down"

"eeh, seems like you know more than you think you do" she's looking really intrigued in our current subject of conversation. "on first glance he doesn't really seem all that friendly feels like he'll stare daggers at you if you say something that would annoy him, but well you can't judge a book by his cover" Personally I don't really like to talk about someone I don't even know and especially not if the person isn't even here, feels to much like gossiping or bad-mouthing.

"guess I do" My eyes start to wonder to the view outside, while my hand is sturing my drink absentmindedly _'what would he be doing now I wonder. would he be studying or is he getting calls from that number again, no he turned his phone off, but what if he turned it on again and it started again. Is he alright or is he shivering in a corner of his room or maybe under covers. Or even worse did that person figure out where he is and-'_ my train of thoughts gets stopped as I feel a hand shake my shoulders 

I look up and see Sakura watching me with a worried expression "hey you alright, you started spacing out when you suddenly got this panicked, worried look in your eyes" I place one of my hands onto hers and thank her silently, I'm really thankful to have her by my side

"I'm okay just thinking about stuff, I'll be fine after a good night's sleep" she still looks worried, but sees that I won't say anything else she gives up and just gives me a little encouraging smile, a smile that says _'if you ever need someone to listen, just know I'm here'_

"let's ask for the bill and head home" Nodding my head I quickly finish my now lukewarm latte and wave Aia over to ask for the bill

she comes back with the bill a few minutes later and I paid just like I said I would. Aia gives me a hug and I hug her back just as tight, we let go of one another and she smiles at me. After doing the same to Sakura we leave the café with a final wave

our journey home is walked in a comfortable silence when we come across an intersection at the end of the road me and Sakura say our goodbye's, cause we both live in opposite directions. with a final kiss on the lips we both continue our way home

I take my phone out from my pocket when I feel it vibrate for a few times in row now, On my lock-screen I see the picture of me and Sakura we took on the day we got together _'now that I think about it, was this the reason of his slight hesitation then'_ on the photo I see countless message from our group chat _'looks like there going at it again'_ I unlock my phone and pause when I see a now familiar name on my screen _'shit I forgot to send him a message with the details of this saturday'_ I fasten my pace to get home quicker after noticing my battery is close to five procent

When I arrive home I take of my shoes, hang my jacket in the closet and place my bag on the couch. Then I go straight to my bed where my charger is, I put it in and send a message to the guys before I'll forget again

from: Kirishima Zen to: Yokozawa Takafumi

We all thought it would be a good Idea to arrive at the library before to many people come, so we can have good places close to the sections we'll need the most. so is 10am good for you, you can always come later just let me know with a message or at school. If you let us know beforehand we can save a spot for you

PS: here is the adres .....

Kirishima Zen (桐嶋禅)

 _'well now that's taken care of, I guess I'll take a bath, watch the news and head to bed. I hope he'll messages me back quickly. Well for all I know is his phone still turned off'_ with this final thought Kirishima went to take his bath

Not noticing the small notification on his phone that indicated that a new message has come in, Kirishima left his bedroom

from: Yokozawa Takafumi to: Kirishima Zen

10am is okay for me if it's what you all decided on together, I'll notify you if anything should come up. I truly appreciate the invitation

with kind regards

Yokozawa Takafumi 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay that's all for this chapter, hope you all enjoyed it. I'll skip over the week In the next chapter to speeden it up with the right amout of time 
> 
> Character thoughts are in italics and I don't own any of the characters or it are the OC one's
> 
> Well that's all for now see you all in the next chapter


	7. Study session

  
The rest of the week passed by fairly quick, it was a routine of standing up, washing up and going to classes. Meetings with friends between classes, at least this was the case for Kirishima

Yokozawa on the other side went home if all classes where over or he was reading under a tree between classes in. Despite Kirishima's countless advances to get him involved with him and his friends, Yokozawa always politely refused 

Although if Kirishima asked if he minded if they joined him under tree and they wouldn't bother him to much, Yokozawa didn't see any reason to reject the man. Plus it would better to have a good relationship with people he's gonna see next Saturday and many days more

The brunette was happy, even though Yokozawa only said the bare minimum it was at least something. His friends didn't mind it that he was more concerned with the content of his book then them

They rather found the calm and quiet nature of the man refreshing. It even made them calmer themselves, not wanting to disturb the man in question

Kirishima learned a few things about the man in the span of this week. First the man was a quick reader, everytime he saw the man with a different book in hands. It also didn't look like he had any preferred genre in books, but there where certain authors that come back. 

Second thing is that he can concentrates on things without getting distracted at all, he goes up in his book completely, like he tries to escape something or forget. Well that's something we all do when we read 

Third thing he learned was that Yokozawa likes to be alone, but also seems to enjoys to be in company of a small group. He may be distant and uninterested, but he does answer here and there to be polite

And second last thing he learned is that he refuses to call anyone by their first name, no matter how many times they say to just do it he will not let up. There is only one exception and that's with the Yasuda siblings, in this case he calls saeki by her first name. They have taking a liking to one another maybe because of the similar air they give off, who knows

And as last was that Yokozawa always replied to message quite rapidly. Most of the time he answers in the timespan of an hour, sometimes longer. He was polite when he texted and only said the necessary. Nothing more, nothing less 

Everything went okay until Friday after class ended and we all finished around the same hour and we decided to get something to eat together 

[Kirishima's P.O.V.]

We just finished our last of today and when we went outside I saw the others waiting by the bench. We all agreed on getting something to eat together at a local family restaurant. Ofcourse this also included the still unknowing grey eyed man 

"Hey Yokozawa" I called out to the male that was on his way towards the dorms

He turned to look at me from over his shoulder. A feeling of deja-vu hit me, but I ignored it for the most part "what do you want Kirishima?" even though he still uses my last name I'm glad he at least dropped the san part 

"Well we were all thinking of getting something to eat together. There is this great family restaurant not far away from here, we would love it if you'd joined us" he looked at me a little sceptical and I'm sure he would've refused if it wasn't for saeki 

"Yeah we would love it, plus I would really like a calm dinner with all of us for a change. I love them all but their a lot to handle most of the time" she gives the man a small smile where the man gives her a sympathetic look in return 

"Okay I'll go" although I'm happy they're getting along it still irritates me that he'll come if she asks and is doubtful if I ask _'is it something about me or...'_

I wasn't lying when I said it was close by, it was max five minutes by car and a ten to fifteen minute walk

Haruka walked in front of us while her arm was linked with Saeki's. The two girls where having an amusing interaction with Saeki's brother Gou 

Behind them were Sakura and Yuu who were also emerged in a casual conversation 

In the back of the group were Yokozawa and myself. The man was silently walking along and enjoying the view at the same time, at least that's what I'm thinking _'should I start a conversation or wait for him. No he wouldn't start one on his own, he would likely be annoyed if I do though'_ we stoped in front of a cross road when the lights turned red

 _'Well whatever I'll just go for it, there is not a lit that can go wrong anyway'_ oh how naive I was when I heard a question coming from Haruka before I could start to converse with him 

"Hey Yokozawa how come you came here right before the exams anyway" Yokozawa froze into place and I could practically hear him gulp. In reaction to the lack of respons from the man the rest all turned towards him, this didn't make it any better for the man 

"Ah its a sensitive topic for you isn't it" Gou looked sympathetic, but I had a feeling this got interpreted in the wrong way, as the male was looking 'ashamed?' Hurt even

"What! did you get bullied Yokozawa, do I need to punch someone" all their words of support only backfired as the male didn't take it the way they meant it

Yokozawa didn't move at all untill a car passed by and suddenly honked, this put him in action. It was like a million thoughts were going through his head 

"I forgot there's something I have to do, so you all go without me" as he turned left, away from the direction we're headed to I saw tears glinting in his eyes 

"Yokozawa wait" I was torn up between the decision of going after him or letting him be. If I would go after him it wouldn't be certain he would actually say something, he may think I'm meddling with his buisness. But I would stay hear it could be possible he'll end up like before, with no one to comfort nor help him

In the end I opted for the second option, cause though I hate to admit it, at this time we're nothing more then classmates _'although do you need to be friends to be concerned about someone's wellbeing?'_

As we watched Yokozawa's quickly retreating figure a silence fell upon us, nether knowing what just happened

"I shouldn't have asked that didn't I?" It was downright heartbreaking to see the normally cheerful and energetic Haruka so down

"It isn't your fault Haruka, you couldn't have known that he would react like that" I try to comfort her and Saeki takes Haruka's hand and squeezes It reassuringly

"I know but still" we all stay silent. It may only been a week since he transferred here, but he already feels like a part of our group 

The mood lightened when the Yasuda siblings stomach started to growl simultaneously. Saeki started to blush from embarrassment while Gou awkwardly scratches the back of his head

"Looks like your stomachs aren't really good at reading the mood are they" everyone starts to let out light chuckles at Yuu's comment

It's Sakura who suggest we'll still get something to eat and that we can always apologise tomorrow when we see him in the library _'if he still comes, that is'_

We all agree and continue our way towards the restaurant. As I'm nearing the restaurant I sent off a quick message to the dark haired male hoping to get an answer soon

From: Kirishima zen  
To: Yokozawa Takafumi 

Hey Haruka and Gou are feeling really guilty about what they said and are sorry. We all hope you'll still come tomorrow. Please let me know something 

PS: I don't know if this means something, but I hope you'll alright

Just as they settle down at a table Kirishima smiles at the small response of the other

From: Yokozawa Takafumi   
To: Kirishima Zen

I'll come 

[Timeskip to saturday]

I arrived at the library a five minutes early and go to the seats we agreed on meeting. I'm glad to see Sakura and Yuu already sitting there _'glad I'm not the first one'_

Sakura waves me over and I settle myself next to her. I gave a quick greeting to Yuu who's already encircled by all kinds of books, notes and writing supplies

"Do you know when the others will arrive" I quietly ask Sakura so not to disturb the other students. Even though the library has only been opened for one hour, it's already halfway filled with students

She checks her phone before she whispers an answer "well seeing that Gou has his car back since this morning he's bringing Haruka en Saeki with him" I nod slowly and take out my stuff "what about the other kid?"

I place the last of my books down and turn towards her "you mean Yokozawa?" 

"Who else would I be referring to smartass" she counters 

"Haha sorry for my dumb ass" she rolls my eyes at me before urging me to continue "I honestly don't know" she looks at me suspiciously "I'm serious the last thing I heard from him was, a little message saying 'I'll come' nothing more" seeming satisfied with my answer she hums and goes back to the dozens of notes in front of her

A half an hour have passed and we heard that Gou and the girls arrived, well we heard Haruka to be more exact. This was followed by a quiet sushing sound of Saeki

"Well look who's finally here" Yuu smiles teasingly at the driver on duty 

"Tell that to Haruka who apparently needs an hour in the bathroom this morning, she came out ten minutes before we needed to be here. Take that plus the time it takes to get my car and you know why we're late" Gou says as he let himself fall into the chair next to Yuu and before me

"Sorry, but this.....cost time you know" Haruka points at herself before finishing her sentence

"Umm Zen-san" I still can't get used to the fact that Saeki uses honorifcs with me, but seeing that's a year younger it can't be helped for now 'at least she stopped with the sempai' 

I look at her from her position on the end of the table next to Haruka "what's the matter saeki?" I smile softly at her. Her shy and calm personality makes me wanna protect her. She seems so vulnerable, although she has proven that this isn't the case at all

"Where's Yokozawa-san? I thought he would already be here, seeing that we're already late" her question makes me feel a little sad. It's it true that he's late and after this whole week he's always on time

"I don't know where he is "I shrug my shoulders" I only know that he said he would come so we just gotta trust on that I guess" after giving her a sad but hopefully smile I return to my work _'maybe he isn't coming, did something happen? Then he could've send me a message, is he uncomfortable with texting people he doesn't know that well?_ ' That last thought hurt me for some reason _'should I text him?'_ I kept staring at my phone hoping to get something from the missing grey eyed man

"If your that worried why don't you text him?" I look up at Gou and blink a few times "You may be able to concentrate on your studies afterwards, not that you really need it but still"

 _'Yeah I should actually do it istead of staring at my phone'_ I really wanted to slap myself, but I restrained myself from doing the action itself "your right" right after I pick my phone and search for his contact so I can ask where he is

"You really like him, don't ya" Gou grins at me

"jealous aren't we?" I raise my brow at him before looking back at my screen, but before catching him looking a tiny bit stunned

"yeah right" he signed 

"don't worry to much about it, besides-" now everyone is looking at Yuu with eyes full of curiosity and awaiting the rest of the sentence "I really think that Yokozawa has a better taste in people than you Gou"

"Hey" Kirishima and Gou voice simultaneously. laughter arises around the entire table, expect the two people that just have been called out on

"Tell me about it" Sakura adds to it and Gou joins the laughter 

"oh come on not you to Sakura, I thought you liked me?" Even though I started pouting, I couldn't keep it up for long and joined in the fun with a light snicker of my own

"I do, but that doesn't mean I have good taste, does it" she says playfully when looking at me sideways

after mouthing a 'love you to' at her I get back to the task I was previously engaged in. I scrolled to the 'yo' section and found his name as the only one there. while I was in the middle of typing the message, someone tapped my shoulder. When I look up I see Sakura pointing next to the table and as I follow the direction she's pointing in I see the familiar figure of the man I was just about to text

My hands momentarily freeze when our eyes meet, it only lasted a few seconds before he looked at the energetic Haruka who was looking apologetic towards the male and Saeki who was giving him a sweet smile

When he came over to us he was as graceful as the first time I saw him walk into the class. His clothes were casual, but on him they looked elegant and well fitted. his slender figure got well accentuated by the dark blue shirt he wore tucked in his black skiny jeans, on top of that a light grey jacket and on his shoulder he carried a bag, those colors only made his eyes stand out even more at least that's what I think

"sorry for being late" Yokozawa apologized as he put he coat on the chair next to me and sat down not long after

"Don't mention it we are just happy you could make it" Yuu says looking from his books to great the newly arrived male

"looks like you've been worried for nothing" I kick Gou from under the table and he looks a bit upset but for long

Yokozawa looks at us confused, but Saeki explains it calmly "we were wondering why you were so late and if something may have come up last minute. Zen was in the middle of sending you a message when you arrived" she smiled at him softly 

slowly nodding his head in understanding he returned her smile with a tiny almost invisible, but she seemed to notice it anyway. he started to unpack his stuff so he could get started on his studies

At the same time there was a pair of nervous eyes watching his every move, when steely eyes finally looked up at the observing eyes that belonged to Haruka. She was finally able to say what she wanted to say "sorry" Yokozawa just looked confused, but recognition washed over his face not long after. He looked taken aback by her apology and a little uncomfortable, but not angry nor upset "you know for asking such a personal question and..."

Yokozawa just shook his head "you don't have to apologize, it's okay" Haruka looked him in the eyes for a while, just to be sure that he was really okay and not mad. After not seeing anything particularly wrong she smiled happily at him and got back to the countless books in front of her while muttering a quiet 'thank you'

For me I didn't look like he was upset nor angry and that's also what Haruka saw, but he does seem hurt. It's looks better then yesterday, but the the distrust and uncertainty is still present

an hour had passed in a really comfortable silence with here and there a question or a small conversation. For the rest you could only hear the soft noises of turning pages, writing, marking and soft breathing. In all honesty it was a calming atmosphere that made it easy to concentrate

Everything went smoothly and it didn't seem that anyone had any major problems that where hard to solve well that was the case until the usual calm and collected Saeki was letting out a heavy sign 

"What's wrong Saeki-chan?" Haruka looked worriedly at her girlfriend and giving her hand a squeeze 

"Nothing, it's just that I don't understand this" she pointed her pen at the sheet she was working on

"Ooh I don't think I can help you with that, but i know who can" when I felt two pairs of eyes boring into my skull, I looked up

"What's it you don't understand Saeki?" I ask as I put my head in my hand. She hands me her sheet. After a quick look I feel dejected seeing that it will be difficult to help

"It's impossible that you don't understand it Zen, your the top of our class, in everything" Haruka may be right, but even if I understand doesn't mean I'm able to explain it. Certainly not if it's english _'how can I explain this I always do it purely on feeling'_

"I do understand it, it's just that I can't explain it. English is the only subject I can't help you with sorry Saeki" she shakes her head 

"It's not your fault" she then looks at the man next to me and without much thought she decides to disturb the male who's deep in concentration, right as we speak 

"Ano, Yokozawa-san?" The male reacts right after his name left her lips, this startled her only a bit _'seems like he has pretty keen ears and reflexes'_

"Mmh?" He hums softly "what is it?" 'Hmm, that soft voice makes him sound so trustworthy, responsible and most importantly caring. _'If only he would look the same as he sounded'_

"Are you good at English?" She looks at him with hopeful eyes

Directly catching up to the situation he changes his posture "what is it you don't understand? if you want I can take a look at it to see if I may be able to help" the teen happily hands the paper over to Yokozawa

After a minute of carefully looking over the contents of the paper he looks back up "you just need some extra explanation right?" Saeki nods "okay I might be able to help, but I can't assure that it will be any good" Yokozawa tells her although he doesn't seem to have any confidence in himself at all

"I don't mind all the help is welcome at this point" picking up her notepad, pen and markers she quietly makes her way over to the chair next to Yokozawa, so he can help her better 

"You should better watch out" tearing my gaze away from the pair next to me, I focus all my attention on Sakura "before you know it he'll steal your spot at the top" 

"Are you worried about me" I say this as I'm closing the distance between us

As she pushes me away she says nonchalantly "oh I'm not worried, but you should be" Sakura points back at the man next to me and I start to think she may be right 

Yokozawa explains the part she doesn't understand, at the hand of a schema his writing down as he's explaining. It just as what I've seen in math, organized, neat and it looks easy to understand. That thought gets confirmed after a, little louder than usual, thank you from Saeki

"Thank you so much, I understand it completely now. Your notes are easy to understand and follow to" she looks over the sheet of paper again and has a big smile on her face 

"Your welcome" the male says softly _'even after all that praise he still doesn't seem to have gained any confidence, I wonder why'_

"I hope you won't mind if I ask you more if I'm stuck" saying this a lot more quietly then before

"I don't mind at all" are the only words he says prior to going back to his studies

 _'There is a lot more to know about this, mysterious, curious and interesting man'_ I smile happily and also go back to the books in front of me

This peaceful atmosphere continued until 1 pm when everyone's stomach started to growl, expect from Yokozawa's and Yuu's. So we've decided to take a break and catch some lunch at a nearby ramen shop

We put a board on our table that said occupied so that when we return we still had our place. We left the stuff we didn't feel the need to bring along with us and left 

We're lucky to see that the ramen shop is empty for the most part. I walked up to a clean table with those high bar chairs and sit down. Seeing there are only tables for four people we decided to split up. I sat at one table with Sakura next to me and with Yokozawa and Yuu opposite of us. Gou, his sister and Haruka sit on the table next to ours. We soon get the menus and start to decide on our food before calling the store employee so we can order 

_______________________________________________

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I'm sorry that this chapter was a little late, but it's a bit longer then usual. I hope you'll enjoy this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing this
> 
> I'm sorry for any grammar faults, I don't own any of the characters or it's my OC character. Character thoughts are in italics. Thank you all and see you all next time😊


	8. Can I help?

[No one's P.O.V.]

"ooh they have so many options, this is gonna be difficult" Haruka signs not being the kind to choose easily if it comes to food

"Your right, there are a lot of options but your the only one who would make a big deal out of it Haruka" this comment earned Gou a kick from Haruka who was sitting diagonally from him "Hey what's that for, I was merely stating the facts you know" the two kept staring at one another, luckily there was Saeki

"I think I'll go with champon ramen" completely ignoring the other two "what about you guys?" she askes the other table. Well to be more exact she was looking at Yokozawa, who was lost in his own little world again. While looking over the menu in his hand, not noticing the questioning gaze "Yokozawa?"

Not getting any closer in gaining his attention, Yuu helps out by nudging his shoulder. He first looked at Yuu who signaled over to Saeki on his other side "ah, sorry I was a bit to concentrated on the menu" he scratched the back of his head while he apologized "what did you say?"

shaking her head negatively "don't worry about it, I was just asking what you guys will get to eat" his grey eyes going back to the menu to look over the options once more

"don't know I'm still deciding between some" and before we know it he's back to his own world 

afterwards came the answer from Sakura "I think I'll go for champon ramen to" she says and closing her menu, putting it on the corner of the table

"Then I'll take the same then I can share a bigger bowl with my baby" she smiles at Saeki, puts an arm around her and gives her a kiss on the cheek. This causing the trapped girl to blush "aww isn't she the cutest thing alive" this comment also made the tips of her ears turn a rosy color

We all smiled and laughed at the pair, well almost everyone as Saeki was looking rather embarrassed and Yokozawa, who was still deep in thought about the menu

"I'll just stick to what I know so a large bowl of tonkotsu ramen for me" was Gou's answer on this utter difficult question _'well with his bottomless stomach that isn't really surprising'_ Kirishima thinks smiling a little

Yuu places his Menu down to "Good idea I think I'll do the same"

"okay so a medium sized tsukemen ramen for you, now only one person left besides myself" Kirishima states and looks at Yokozawa right in front of him "so what will it be?" he says as he pulls the menu away from his face with his index finger

Those mesmerizing surprised grey eyes looking right into Kirishima's hazel one's. The brunette was awestruck by those eyes, they where more honest then he'd seen before _'that color really suits him, it's mysterious, cold but also so warm and caring. Am I weird for thinking that, others must see it to right?'_

 _'Why does he look like that at me? Is he pitying me? No no he's not that kind of person right?'_ Yokozawa is the first one to avert his gaze. He takes one quick look at the menu "I'll take a small muroran curry ramen" he places his menu on top of the rest.

It doesn't take Kirishima to recover "are you really fine with a small one, that's not really much?" 

"It's fine, I never eat a lot as lunch" the brunette nods his heads in understanding, but he doesn't feel really assured by it 

"If you say it. Well I think I'll pick the same but then a medium sized bowl" as he decides this he waves over the waitress and gives there orders

They bring over the drinks after a minute or two and there food arrives twenty minutes later. Without much further ado they all dig in. Having a nice conversation in between

The hazel eyed man took a glance of the man in front of him from time to time and was pleasantly surprised. Despite the fact that they where in a small ramen shop with friends, he maintains a proper posture. He has good manners and eats properly without spilling anything. He has a good and steady grip on his chopsticks and doesn't take part in any of the conversations, what isn't that surprising for him but kirishima's sure that are his manners and not his poor social skills now 

After eating a little over the half of the contents, Yokozawa lays down his chopsticks and wipes of his mouth, before excusing himself to go to the bathroom

"He's done already" Gou says when he chews on the last bit of his food

"Nii-chan please finish your food before talking, at least have a little common sense" she may be the quietest of the group, but she can also be the scariest of all. The only one who can talk back to her is Gou, but seeing that his little sister is right he doesn't argue much

He gulps down his food, finishes his glass of cola and apologized "maybe he just went to the bathroom and he'll he finish it when he's back" she answers her brother eventually 

"Or he may not feel well" Yuu says "he looked a little paler then this morning no?" He looked at the others and everyone started to think about it

"Well why don't you ask the man himself" this causes everyone to look at Yokozawa who's making his way back to their table. He sees everyone looking at him and starts fo feel really self-conscious 

"Something wrong?" The male asks with some nervosity laced in his voice. Everyone looks at one another before all there eyes fall on Kirishima _'well that was unexpected_ ' he signs before shaking his head

"Really guys why do you always feel the need to look at me and not to the oldest one here, that is supposed to be the responsible one here?" they all look away or down, like they're saying we have no idea what your talking about 

Yokozawa who's still feeling a little left out takes his seat after feeling to awkward to stay standing up. Looking up to the six other people around him, he's not sure what's going on but he's certainly not liking whatever is going on.

This doesn't escape the brunette's eyes and starts to feel guilty about leave the man hanging, but it doesn't seem like an easy question to answer for the male. Well he could just come up with something although that's not really fair towards the unknowing male

 _'I just got to be subtle about it'_ when he looks back into the eyes of the man in front of him he feels his determination fade away little by little _'now or never'_ he takes a small breath and decides to just go for it "Just ignore those idiots for now, so how do you like the food here?" Yokozawa is a little surprised by the question, thinking he was going to say something else

Registering what he just asked he wasn't entirely relieved, but glad it was just that "if you say so" he says quite calm "for the food" he felt six pair of eyes focused on him, but the only ones he didn't mind were the light hazel ones from the man opposite of him. those eyes calmed him down for reasons that he hasn't quite figured out yet, they just did. They were warm, protecting and non judgmental all in all they were the kind of eyes Yokozawa loved the most, but at the same time the scariest "It's really good, reasonable prise and it's not crowded. Although I do believe that has to do with the time" 

He breaks lose from Kirishima's gaze and looks down at his hands, not liking the attention he's getting. Something in the brunette told him not to let the male look away from him, however his head and reasoning kept him in place, making sure he wouldn't act on that voice

"you sure weren't kidding about not eating a lot for lunch" tactless as ever, Gou says when he wipes of his mouth "aw! will you stop doing that already. It really hurt you know" Saeki just starred at him, signed and shook her head "What?!"

"Forget it" Saeki started signalizing one of the waiters so they could ask for the bill, so that they could go back to there studies

Yokozawa looked really awkward and uncomfortable by the straightforward question. It's not like he hated it he just wasn't used to it, of course Kirishima was a honest person as well, although he was more careful in expressing it and was more subtle like he thinks things more through before saying anything

"Just let him be Gou, not everyone has a bottomless pit as stomach like you" they heavy awkward mood was immediately lifted and soon everyone was laughing again, except from Gou himself and the grey eyed male

"She's right let's pay and get out of here" we all agree and pay for our food. We walk out of the ramen shop and go back to the library to continue our studying session

[Time skip to the library]

[Kirishima's P.O.V.]

We get back to our table and everything lays exact the same as we left it. Personally I don't really need this study session, but my friends do and I'm always ready to help them. This wasn't the main reason that he wanted to go to the library, no the more important reason was to know more about the newly attained member of their group, at least that's what he hoped he be after the past week and today.

He's been pleasantly surprised to be completely honest. The man was a Natural at studying and school in general, his notes were neat and easier to understand then what the teacher said. He doesn't seem to have a single weak point if it comes to school matter, especially with math he's like a little genius. The guy was also surprisingly good at explaining the matter at hand, because of that Saeki was glued to him pretty much from the start on. If she had a question she asked Yokozawa and wouldn't bother anyone else, to be fair the man didn't mind it at all, he even seemed to enjoy it

 _'He seems really fit to be a teacher, but I get the feeling like he is destined for something greater'_ we've been back in the library for about an hour and I haven't done anything yet, and if they'd askes me why, in all honesty I don't know. Well I do know it's because of the man next to me, I can't help it he's just so interesting

"Do you not understand something or?" my thoughts get interrupted and as I look up I'm back at starring at a pair of the most beautiful eyes I've ever laid eyes on. They looked more vulnerable, precious, colder and at the same time looked oh so warm, honest and caring from a closer distance. The sound of a pen dropping got me out of this weird haze I was caught up in

getting back to the question "Why you ask?"

"Ah, Just because you haven't wrote anything down and you look at my paper now and then s-so I just thought that... you know" It's true that he hasn't wrote anything, which is weird cause even if he doesn't need to he still writes stuff down and actually studies, out of respect for his friends _'is he also looking at me? or maybe he got annoyed that I did it, but didn't want to be rude?'_

"You don't have to worry about him Yokozawa" The culprit of the pen drop says casually not even looking at the two

"Eh?" both males stare at Gou who continues like he hasn't said a word at all 

eventually after a minute of staring he finally finished his previous statement "he's the top student of our class, he gets first place without much to no effort at all" hums of agreement could be heard above the scribbling sound of pens hitting the paper

"Hey, it's not my fault that it's so easy!" he said louder the he attempted 

"Yeah and that totally doesn't sound like bragging at all" I swear sarcasme was like the mother tongue of the Yasuda family

everyone started to laugh when I made a fake pout, but I didn't expect one thing. Right next to me I heard a sound I've never heard before, it was pleasant to the ear. A little soft but audible, gruff but smooth, however the weirdest thing was the fact that I found it addictive. I wanted to hear more of it

"D-did you just laugh at me" Just like I suspected, the beautiful sound came from the mysterious yet enticing man next to him

Yokozawa composed himself al to quickly for Kirishima's liking "yeah right, you wish" not expecting such an answer he was stunned for a minute before an other round of laughter could be heard

"Wahahaha I got to give it to him, he got you" the laughter didn't seem like it would end soon

"Shut it Gou" saying this seemed like the biggest mistake of today, since they just started to laugh even harder. Everyone besides Yokozawa who was back to his neutral expression although there appeared a ghost of a smile on his otherwise serious face

"Gou is right though" Yuu managed to say between laughs in "H-he got you good. Plus I begin to like him more and more haha" he may appear angry or irritated, but if his friends could laugh like that he didn't mind it all that he was the reason behind it. He was a little sad that he didn't hear Yokozawa laugh again but that one chuckle was more then enough for now _'I'll definitely help him, step by step. I can't wait till the moment he'll laugh as freely as the others'_ that was his biggest hopes regarding the grey eyed male, that seemed to shoulder more then he shoul

It was 5:30pm when they finally started to pack everything up and leave the library

Haruka and Saeki had a reservation at a local restaurant for there one month anniversary and of course Gou had to be their driver of the night "We reserved a table at eight o'clock, so we'll be going now" Haruka states as energetic as always. Saeki just nods and Gou gives me a pat on the shoulder before the three head over to the parking lot 

"Oh yeah before I forget" Gou turns around momentarily and looks at me. I turn his gaze with a questioning one "Come by my room later I still need to return some stuff I borrowed" he smiles brightly and tries to catch up to the two girls who're already a few feet away 

"sure it's not like I have anything better to do" Gou just laughed and waved his hand without looking back "seriously would it hurt him to brings those things to me for once" I sigh 'well better not get my hopes up'

The laughter behind him caught his attention "Guess somethings never change do they?" 

"nothing we can do about it, Gou is Gou and that will never change" Yuu answered Sakura before I had a chance to

"I wouldn't want it any other way" she smiles happily "Anyway we better leave as well if we don't wanna be late" I almost forget about that 

"Your right, we better not make our families wait for long or they'll start to worry for no reason again" Yuu releases a deep breath _'so it is their annual joint family dinner today, sometimes I forget how close those two families are'_

I'm kinda sad that everyone is just leaving like that _'but wait if they are leaving together that leaves me alone with'_ the ounce of sadness that just went over me disappeared when the realisation hit me _'this may not be as bad as I thought'_

"What are you grinning about?" Sakura's face came into focus a bit later and my smile only grew bigger

"nothing special~" not convinced by my answer at all she raised her brow but didn't ask any further "Hurry up you don't want them start worrying, right?" she let out a little sound of surprise

"Your right we'll be off" I gave her a quick goodbye kiss, which she gladly returned "I'll call to you tomorrow" was the last thing she said as she left to walk next to Yuu

As I turned around to look at the male who was left my breath got stuck in my throat. Right in front of me was Yokozawa standing with his side towards me. The light of the evening sun shone beautifully on him, giving his otherwise pale skin a orange/yellow glow. Even his normally cold, steely grey eyes were sparkling brightly by the setting sun. combining that with the wind that blew softly through his hair, made one stunning view. It looked like a scene right out off a movie and made it hard for Kirishima to breathe

When Yokozawa's eyes locked with his, a foreign feeling started to bubble up in the pit of his stomach. Those eyes that hided so much, now strongly hold an emotion Kirishima wanted to erase from the man's face. It was hurt, emptiness and most vividly apparent sadness

They stared into each others eyes for more then a minute and before he knew it, he had his arms wrapped around a surprised Yokozawa. It felt weirdly right to have this broken man in his arms, it felt like if he just held him tight enough he'll be fixed _'yeah like it would be that easy_ '. The man froze in his embrace "K-kirishima-" the male in my arms says softly 

"Shhh, Just let me hold you a little longer" Afterwards I felt the teen ease up only a few seconds later I felt hesitant arms return my embrace. We stayed like this for a few minutes until I felt his arms stop trembling 

I slowly let go of him and created some distance between us "Sorry, that was really inappropriate of me" scratching my head awkwardly and didn't dare to look him in the eyes, even though I wanted to see if anything has changed in them _'what did I just do! did I just hug him? w-wait but that isn't so bad right, then why can't I look him in the eyes? I couldn't help it my body just acted on it's own, but it felt so right, like him is supposed to be there. Aagh my mind is seriously fucked up isn't it?'_

"I-it's okay, it just surprised me... a bit" he mumbled the last part. I felt relief that he answered and didn't sound scared or creeped out

"A-ah, well why don't we head back to the dorm to. It's getting late after all" I really don't like this awkward mood, but seeing Kirishima was the one to cause it he couldn't really complain about it either

Yokozawa must have felt it to otherwise he would've never made such a comment "genius thinking work sherlock" it did surprise me though and I saw a small smile graze his lips for a few seconds as I finally looked at him again. His eyes luckily back to normale, well the normale that I know for now 'Gou and Yuu were right he really got me' 

"Haha I know right" a grin appearing on my face and happy that this weird mood was lifted "well then why don't we do something with this genius idea of mine Watson?" he just rolled his eyes at me and started walking in the direction of the dorms

"I'll leave you behind if you don't hurry up" he didn't look at me, instead he just started to walk a tad bit quicker 'challenge accepted' he thought before catching up to the man and walking right next to him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because I forgot to post my chapters on here I decided to give you guys two chapters instead of one hopefully this will make up for it.
> 
> Well anyways bye bye and see you next chapte✌🏼


	9. Realization

[Kirishima P.O.V.]

The first few minutes we just walked in comfortable silence, I wanted to say something but at the same time, I didn't want to risk to ruin the mood. To be honest, after a while I just wanted to hear his voice again, to have a casual conversation, to know more about him _'I wonder if I'm crazy for thinking that?'_ well whatever it was, it was there and there was something needed to be done about it

The library wasn't far from campus, there were in general two routes to get there. The first one was the shortcut through the park that was most commonly used or the other route that involved going through the city, was less used mainly because it was longer and pretty crowded throughout the whole day. It had the advantages that you could find everything you could possibly need

Kirishima would want to take that route cause it meant more time with the male, but knowing how smart he is and how he carries himself with a certain kind of confidence, he was well aware that Yokozawa already knew about both routes and their qualities. He also knew that the man didn't like crowded places so bad to even avoiding the places where students mostly sat in between the lessons. Luckily was he okay with small groups like Kirishima's. It's gonna be hard to convince him 'can't push him into something he doesn't feel comfortable about'

As we're nearing the intersection with the park I decide this is the best time to ask "Hey would you mind taking the longer route back?" keeping my eyes on the road ahead I observe him from the corner of my eye, He looks surprised but keeps walking forward, looking skeptical but not repulsed "why?" not rejecting the idea however he hasn't agreed either.

It took me a moment to come up with an answer, now hoping it won't sound like I just made it up "well I wanted to check out this new Bookstore that opened recently, looking which kind of books they sell" playing on their common interests Kirishima hoped to push him over the edge. the other male thought for a bit, brows slightly frowning but there was a little sparkle in his eyes that kinda gave him away

"Sure if it's not for too long..." he was nervous that was painfully clear yet he put that aside to indulge the brunette. it was his way of temporarily repaying the man for inviting him today and helping him get around 'this is getting dangerous' the grey-eyed male thought with a sign

"you may find something good for yourself to right?" letting my excitement get the better of me I smile at him and quicken my pace a little to pass the intersection quickly, just to be sure he wouldn't run away.

He nodded while matching my pace "maybe Usami sensei's new book is up for sale yet" he voiced sometime later

Seeing his steely grey eyes glinting with admiration makes me happy but at the same time, there is this unknown feeling deep inside of me that I can't place anywhere. Since that it's still unknown I'll just ignore it, for now, that seems to be the most logical thing to do at the moment "there you gon that's the spirit" Kirishima pats Yokozawa on the shoulder feeling the slight flinch of the other. He wanted to apologize for startling him however seeing the circumstances he opted against that idea knowing it would only embarrass him

Ten minutes later they arrive at the bookstore, Marimo Books was located in the center of the city. The store had four floors, one of which was underground this being the Manga department. The store was well managed and has an easy to find layout, with only a few glances could you see how much thought has gone into the arrangement of the place "okay why don't we start on the third floor where the literature works are and make our way down to end with the manga section?"

So said so happened, there might have been a lot of people but due to the size of the passages and store, in general, was it easy to walk around without bumping into all kind of strangers. "now where should we start looking, you only want to look for Usami's work right or is there someone else?"

"His works maybe my favorites but I still enjoy to read works of other authors to, I just read anything that peaks my interesting" Yokozawa states while looking around absentmindedly, trying to figure out where to begin

Happy with every little bit of information he can get out of him the brunette tries to dig just a tiny bit deeper "are there any subjects in particular you enjoy? you never know that I may have some recommendations"

Finally knowing where to start Yokozawa heads into a certain direction as he answers "not really, I tend to read a variety of subjects there aren't any genres I don't or haven't read" listening carefully and taking internal notes Kirishima follows him "although there are genres I read more than others-" getting more and more distracted by the rows of books around him Yokozawa starts to space off bit by bit

Even though he finds it endearing how a man like Yokozawa could be so absorbed in his own world, he still wants to hear the rest of his answer "like?" grabbing the males attention once more they lock eyes for a few seconds before the dark-haired man is back to reality

He blinks a few times and continues to answer, still scanning the rows of books "for example all books that have something to do around psychology-" _'well it's our school major, so not all that surprising I guess'_ the male keeps switching between reality and the world of the books so Kirishima's patiently waits on his answers, knowing he can't do anything about the situation anyways "there is also literature in general, there're exceptions cause some authors can't get me into the book and story"

"I get what you mean, some authors can get you hooked from the first page while with other authors or books you just feel that they won't interest you at all" astonished that Kirishima knew exactly what he meant, Yokozawa started to honestly enjoy the conversation "so what's the other genre?"

After pausing a bit he continued once again "lastly astronomy, I like reading and learning about space especially about constellations and the stars in general" The steely grey eyes were glowing slightly with seemed like a mix of passion, interest and fondness. He loved to see all those emotions play inside those beautiful eyes, everything was better then what he saw earlier that day "what about you Kirishima?"

Startled that the conversation suddenly turned towards him, he was at a loss for words not too long of course "well I think on this we're quite similar. For example, I read a lot of genres not especially caring about which genre as long as it's enjoyable and if the author can get me into it. For authors I admire Usami's work just like you, I also like Miyagi sensei's works on literature and psychology. The way he writes and explains just makes you want to expand your horizons"

"you don't imagine Miyagi sensei to be like that if you read his books"

I laugh at the comment as I thought the same thing the first time he was standing in front of the class "true if you see him you would never expect him to be writing such high-level books, but on the other side he's a professor in psychology and literature for a reason" nodding in agreement they continue their search for Usami's work while looking at all the works that seem interesting

By the time they reached the ground level floor, they both had around three books in their arms. The ground floor was where a wide variety of books where displayed, starting from children's books to magazines, sports, crafting, but also DVDs and CDs and much more. It was also the place where they were headed to next, the cooking books section. A place Kirishima had promised never to go near to, with good reasons. He reluctantly followed the other male as his desire to know more about him took over

Yokozawa was looking carefully through the wide variety in cooking books, looking for one that fits his taste perfectly, but also had new things he could try "you like cooking, but for starters, you know how to cook?"

"mmh I often cooked for myself when I was younger and continued through college, I had to cook for both of us-" the dark-haired male froze in place, with the look on his face that Kirishima didn't want to see again only worse. shaking his head he continued going through the books in silence, a look on his face that would warn everyone not to come close ' _I want to know what's going on, what happened but sadly I'm not close enough to ask him something so personal. I hate feeling this powerless and to be fair there isn't much I can do at the moment'_

Sensing it would better to give him some space, he did just that. walking a few steps behind him. after reading through a few of the books he finally made his choice and turned towards Kirishima "I found what I needed you still wanted to go to the manga floor right?" the eyes looking at him has calmed down to a certain degree, but the calm, peaceful and happy look on his face was gone and it didn't look like it was going to return anytime soon.

"ah, yes I want to look for the latest volume of one of the series I read" he nodded his head and made his way to the escalator that would take them to the underground floor from the store. Now it was Yokozawa's turn to follow Kirishima around the store, it didn't take long for Kirishima to find what he was looking for. With their books in hand, they headed back to the ground floor to pay for them

After they paid for everything they walked towards the exit, but before they could exit someone walked straight into Yokozawa "sorry I wasn't looking where I was going and-" when he looked up and Yokozawa recognition washed over his face and a soft smile appeared "ah Yokozawa I haven't heard from you since you transferred schools, how you've been?" it was clear that he stranger knew Yokozawa well 'were they friends or-?'

Yokozawa had a tiny smile on his face when he saw the face of his friend "sorry for not contacting you Ootori, it has been a rough week with the transfer and upcoming exams" Not wanting to but in Kirishima opted to just listen to a few steps away and wait for their conversation to end. The man named Ootori looked glad to see Yokozawa again there was also relief mixed in his gaze and some sadness _'he may be sad because he left them or a slight feeling of betrayal'_ Kirishima guessed

"You don't have to be sorry I understand plus it's not your fault that our psychology course wasn't advanced enough, we all know how smart you are. You deserve the best education you can get, there is no meaning in it if it's to easy or not the right direction you want to go in" The black-haired male with small black-framed glasses on was quite understanding 'so that's the reason he told to his friends, but I know that's not the real reason'

Yokozawa felt reassured by what his friend said, he did feel bad for lying to his friends but he just wasn't ready yet to tell the truth "still the least I could do was send you a message to let you I was okay" Ootori just smiled

"It's fine all that matters is that your okay" the grey-eyed male let out a sound of agreement "oh by the way before I forget, Takano has been asking everyone if they know where you are. What is kind of strange seeing that he is normally the one that we ask if we need you. He didn't even seem to know about your transfer that's why we all started to worry when we couldn't get in touch with you either"

Yokozawa's face went from full curiosity and questioning to a hazard of emotions in a matter of seconds. it was the whirlpool of emotions Kirishima has seen before, it was the same that time with the elevator and later with the anonymous call. Only this time was worse, his body didn't show it that much he was clearly holding himself back with all the strength he has. His face was paling, body shaking weakly, his fist clenched and his eyes were neutral to most people. Kirishima saw the inner struggle of the man and if he looked closely he saw that his eyes were getting a bit glossy.

He tried to compose himself so his inner turmoil wouldn't be evident when he spoke "could you please not tell him you saw me today?" This made Kirishima certain that whatever happened to Yokozawa had something to do with this Takano person.

"Don't worry we both know how he is when you evolved, he gets overly protective. Even if we told him he wouldn't believe us if we didn't have proof, so there is no point in telling him anyway plus if you ask me so adorably how could I possibly refuse" Ootori was smiling teasingly. I was happy to see some color returning to his face, but I was also sad that it wasn't because of me that it happened

"I'm not adorable but thank you"

"sure thing although I will tell the others that I saw you today, cause they are worried about you to. Okay?" asking for permission and smiling brightly when he got it. Ootori looked at his phone and when he saw the time he quickly excused himself "sorry I have to hurry if I want to be on time for my anniversary dinner with Ayano, I came here to pick up her present"

"Go I know how important this is for you, just give Ayano my regards when you see her and congrats on your two years together" the males eyes where glowing full of love, fondness and adoration for his Girlfriend

"I will and thank you, cause without you I wouldn't have been with her" They gave each other a quick hug before saying goodbye. Yokozawa turned back to look at the exit but instead looked straight at the man me momentarily forgot, feeling a little guilty he walked over to the man so they could finally head back to the dorms

"sorry about that" Yokozawa said so that only Kirishima could hear

The brunette shook his head dismissively "You don't have to be he was your friend it's only reasonable that you want to talk to him plus I got to see a whole new side of you, that was quite endearing"

For most of their commute to the dorms, it was a comfortable silence with a little bit of small talk here and there, it was mostly Kirishima who was talking though. He quickly realized that the other was still pretty shaken up from earlier in the book store, he didn't say anything about it cause he didn't want to confront him in the middle of a bustling road.

Now that they were close to the university it was calm and quiet, they were almost alone except a few people who were all minding their own business not paying them any attention. He thought now was the perfect time to make sure he's okay _'it may be a little late but it's better than never'_

 _'well here goes nothing'_ I stop walking and just like I expected Yokozawa does the same, looking at me with those eyes, it's always his eyes that do it for me. From their peculiar color to the deep seas of emotions you could drown in if you looked just one second too long. just when he wanted to ask what was wrong I beat him to it "ne Yokozawa" voice light but serious "are you okay?"

He clearly didn't see that question coming as he looked surprised,bewildered and nervous. fiddling with his hands "what do you mean there isn't anything wro-"

"look we may only know each other for less then a week, but that doesn't mean I can't see if there is something wrong or not. And how weird it may sound you're already part of our group and you can't deny the fact, plus be honest you realized that to right" Yokozawa looked away from the piercing gaze of the man in front of him cause he knew he was right. "so believe it or not but the way you looked then told me that your anything except fine.

steely eyes looked to the ground not knowing what to respond "look, I'm not asking you to tell me what happened between you and the person you clearly not want to think about. Cause like I said before we haven't known each other for more than a week, however, be honest with and tell me when your not okay so that I can help you or give you some space. I don't ask for more" He says this all without looking away from the wavering gaze of the other

When steely grey eyes finally meet back with expecting hazel ones he finally spoke again "why?" letting out a confused sound at the respond of the man "why are you doing this for me, we barely know each other" it sounded desperate, it hurts to hear his voice break slightly

He walked towards the faintly shaking man never breaking eye contact, not wanting to miss a single thing that happened in them. They say the eyes are the windows of the soul, it was one of the few things Kirishima believed in, especially when he saw the eyes of this man. He may have been a tightly secured safe, but every moment he spent with Yokozawa more and more doors opened up for him, making him realize just how many walls he had built around him.

He put his hands on Yokozawa's shoulders, he flinched at the touch but stayed still they didn't look away at all "why you ask, honestly I'm not sure either" the confusion was evident in his eyes "but if I have to give you a reason it would be because your my friend and I do everything to make sure my friends are okay" the sincerity in Kirishima's eyes was the last straw as Tears started to flow down his cheeks his eyes looking like he didn't realize that he was crying

Seeing this stern, strong-looking man that could intimidate anyone with a single look, so vulnerable and fragile was both heartbreaking and absolutely stunning. his steel-grey eyes glinting with tears that were about to be shed, cheeks lightly flushed giving his pale exterior a pink hue. Lips trembling and parted slightly. He looked so innocent, Kirishima cupped one of his cheeks and wiped away the tears that kept falling down

Eyes looking down at those perfect lips and back at the eyes of the man, mind going blank and the only thing he could think about was the beautiful male in front of him. fingertips brushing against the soft jet black hair at the nape of his neck, eyes looking deep into the others like he was asking permission. As he kept his eyes locked on the male he unconsciously started to lean in till his lips met with a pair of warm and soft ones. A simple brush of lips more not, at least that's what it's supposed to be.

The kiss made a certain warmth spread through his whole body, his heart started to beat faster and all he wanted to do is pull the man closer to him and not let go. he didn't know when he closed his eyes but when he opened them and reluctantly moved away, he was looking straight into wide eyes that were blank from surprise and shock. from that moment he knew what everything was that he felt, why he was so interested in him, why he wanted to know everything and also why he wanted to kiss him again

There was a sense of guilt coming over him when Sakura's face came into his mind and he knew that what he felt for Sakura wasn't the same as what he felt for this man, but at the same time there was this overwhelming sense of relief of finally knowing what this feeling was

**_LOVE_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N:To be honest, I didn't plan to write their first kiss so soon, but as I was writing the ending it just felt like the perfect moment to write it
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed this chapter, it's a bit longer than my others but that's where I'm going for. like always I don't own any of the characters or their the OC ones. Character thought are italics
> 
> See you all next time
> 
> bye bye xx


	10. What did I do?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: the first part will be Yokozawa's and Kirishima's P.O.V. that happen at the same time but they are not in the same place. Just to make sure no one gets confused😊

[Yokozawa's P.O.V.]

Yokozawa got inside of his dorm room, still in a complete haze from what happened. It felt like time has just frozen from that point on, he didn't feel anything or it was the initial shock and confusion

He didn't realize when or how he even got here, at some point his legs just started to move. The moment he closes the door he let his shoulder bag fall on the ground and went over to his bed, not even bothering to take off his shoes or jacket

When he finally reached the bed he just let his numb body fall on it and curled up to the closest pillow his hands could take grasp of

He wasn't angry at Kirishima, to be honest, he didn't know what he felt towards the overall confident, cocky and especially kind man

"This is bad why did he have to do that? Why?" He pushed his face further into the pillow. The only thing on his mind was the fact that he didn't dislike the kiss, no he actually 'liked' it and that was what scared him the most

_'Just stop thinking, he has a girlfriend. I'm sure it was just an impulse, nothing more' he felt guilty but also kept wondering 'but who would kiss a guy on an impulse?'_ "Uugh" Yokozawa groaned

[Kirishima's P.O.V.]

_'How could I do that to them, even if I know why it was still no excuse to just kiss him right?'_ Kirishima couldn't help but let his mind wander. He was now back at his apartment and was pacing the floor in circles as the event from earlier kept replaying in his mind

Kirishima wasn't confused anymore rather he felt more emotions at once then he ever did in his whole life. He felt guilty towards Sakura because he kissed someone else than her. At the same time, he felt lightheaded because what he did felt so right at the time

When he kissed Yokozawa there was this feeling inside of him that was completely different than when he kisses Sakura, this only made the guilt worse for both Sakura and Yokozawa "what have I done?" The brunette slightly touched his lips 'so soft'

He then scratched his head hard in frustration, he wasn't used to feeling this clueless on what to do "what should I do? I can't keep going on like this, I have to clear it up with both of them"

[No one's P.O.V.]

And so started a sleepless night for both of them

[Flashback]

They both stared at each other for what felt like 5 minutes before any of them even tried to look away

Kirishima let go of the man's face and placed them awkwardly next to him, looking at the other out of the corners of his eyes "I-I'm"

Yokozawa who hasn't moved yet couldn't do anything but just blink his eyes _'what just happened?'_ He just couldn't wrap his mind around the recent event

He couldn't help but unconsciously touch his lips, the lips that were connected to the man before him only moments ago. The realization hit him and his face started to heat up, a bright blush evident on his face. His heart was still beating fast and he felt lightheaded

"Yokozawa?" Kirishima carefully tried to get his attention he needed to know if he was okay. After not getting any further reaction of the man he tried to put his hand on the others shoulder, big mistake it seemed

The male flinched at the touch and he lifted his head to look at Kirishima so quickly the brunette got startled by his reaction. Yokozawa walked a few steps backward not losing eye contact for a second

"Yoko-" he immediately stopped when Yokozawa put his hand up and shook his head

"I-I've got to go," the grey-eyed man said and finally turned away from the man and walked towards the dormitory at a fast, but the slightly unstable pace

"Wha-wait!" The brunette tried to stop him, only this made the males pace only quicken and Kirishima knew it was better to not follow him. At least not till he had figured everything out, what was it that he felt?

"Aah, what have I done?!"

[END FLASHBACK]

[Kirishima's P.O.V.]

It was now 9 AM and Kirishima has found himself catching some sleep in between the numerous waking up calls his brain was sending out, of needing to think

_'So what are you gonna do now? Are you gonna ignore it and do as if nothing happened? Isn't that a bit unfair to both of them?'_ All these thoughts flooded his whole mind down to the tiniest corners

He knew he had to talk to Sakura the sooner the better, but he felt so bad cause not only did he deeply care for her, but it was also only a week before the exam period. He didn't wanna make her stressed or sad and unable to concentrate, but this was unfair to both of them

He doesn't have any classes seeing that it's a Sunday so after a lot of thinking he decided to talk to Sakura today. Feeling guilty but knowing she should know this as soon as possible then to lead her on any longer, he was determined to go through with his plan

So to make sure he wouldn't change his mind he immediately picked his phone out of his pockets and dialed her number. The phone rang for a good minute before Sakura's sweet voice could be heard over the phone

"Hey, zen what's up?" She sounded cheerful like always

He took a deep breath and steeped his conviction before answering "I was wondering if you're free this afternoon?"

"Why, you wanna get some lunch together?"

"Yeah"

"Something wrong you don't really sound like yourself" Zen could hear the worry in her voice and felt a tinge of guilt in the pit of his stomach

"Yeah I'm alright I just have an urgent matter I have to talk to you about if that's alright"

He knew she was getting suspicious and more worried, but she still agreed to his request without hesitation

"Okay tell me where and when I'll be there"

"The usual cafe around one o'clock"

"Sure I see you then bye-bye"

"Bye-bye"

"Love you"

This sentence didn't sit well for Kirishima's stomach, the guilt was eating him from the inside out. He felt like an asshole and the worst hasn't even happened yet. with little difficulty, he answers back

"...Love you too"

He hangs up before she could have a chance of questioning him on the break of his voice at the end of the sentence

It was now 9:30 AM and Kirishima went to get ready. He took an extra long shower trying to compose his feelings, plus he just hoped that the hot water would just wash away all his troubles, and himself to if it was possible

An hour later he exited the bathroom with only a towel around his waist. He opened his closet, let his towel fall on the ground and put his black boxers on. Later he took out a pair of midnight blue jeans, a black shirt, and a dark brown sweater

After putting everything on went back to the bathroom fixed his hair and brushed his teeth, when he emerged from the bathroom once more he saw it was only eleven. with two more hours to go and a fifteen-minute walk, he put on a pair of white socks and sat on his couch watching a random quiz show that was on

Kirishima couldn't concentrate on the show, as he kept imagining how the upcoming conversations would go. Even though he tried to be reasonable, his mind couldn't stop the worst-case scenarios that were popping up

"what should I do" he heaved a big sign. Not liking where his mind was going he put out the tv and stood up from his couch. Entering the kitchen he poured himself a glass of water to calm down. He downed all the contents from the glass in one big gulp, after setting the glass down he went to his bookcase

He picked out one of his favorite books, coincidently it was written by Usami-sensei. He pocketed his phone and wallet, keys in hand. It was eleven-thirty when he stepped outside his apartment, locking the door as he left.

The brunette walked the whole way to the café while listening to his surroundings. Whenever Kirishima felt upset, irritated or just when he was in am unpleasant mood he walked. The length of his walks depending on his state of mind

His journey to the café took longer than normal and he arrived ten minutes before twelve. As he entered the café he greeted the owner before sitting at his usual table next to the grand window with the beautiful view. One of the waiters came up to him and took his order when the waiter arrived with his green thee, he picked up his book and started to read occasionally taking a minute to drink from his thee

Absorbed in his book he didn't realize that the person he was meeting just entered the café. She stood next to him, waiting till he noticed her. knowing that won't happen any time soon seeing the concentration on his face, she went and sat right in front of him. She pulled his book down and smiled at him sweetly, seeing this expression on Sakura's face made the guilt from earlier reemerge, but he tried to suppress it

"Sorry that I'm late, you've been waiting long?" he put his book down and shook his head

"I was bored so came here an hour earlier and to be honest I wasn't looking at the time at all" he confessed while scratching the back of his head

"That was evident when you didn't even notice me coming in even when I sat down in front of ya" I smiled sheepishly

"yeah sorry about that, it's just a really good book"

"I can imagine seeing that it's your favorite book from your favorite author to" as expected she knows a lot about me "so what did you wanna talk about? It sounded quite serious on the phone"

"Why don't we first order something to eat and then we'll talk" I hoped she would agree as I handed her the menu and luckily she did

"Okay, but you know I don't like it when people keep things for me" it was evident in her eyes, that what she was saying wasn't a lie

Kirishima was getting a little nervous, however, what she just said made his resolve only stronger "I swear whatever it is I need to tell you, I'll tell you after we got some food in us"

The suspicion on her face got rapidly replaced with a slightly worried one "sure"

We opened our menus and a couple of minutes later we told our orders to the waiter. It didn't take long for the food to arrive thanks to the fact that we both ordered cold dishes

They ate their food while engaging in casual small talk about what has been going on lately, though it was mostly Sakura who kept telling him stories about the great family dinner she attended yesterday

The waiter took their empty plates away and came back later with two coffees

"Now enough with the small talk, what was the urgent matter you needed to talk to me about?"

First, he was silently stirring his coffee trying to figure out where to begin, he took a sip of his coffee and looked her straight in the eyes

"I won't beat around the bush cause I know you hate that." The role of her eye made it obvious that if I didn't get to the point soon she would make me

Kirishima took a deep breath 'here goes nothing' he breathed out and looked at Sakura 'please let this go okay'

"Okay, what I'm about to tell you isn't easy, however, it's better that I tell you myself. Also, you have to promise me you won't interrupt me until I'm done"

She simply nodded her head "I promise"

"Firstly I think we should break up" her eyes went wide with the shock of what I just said. I saw that she wanted to say something but our earlier promise was keeping her from doing that

"Look I know you're probably asking yourself where this comes from, but it just wouldn't be fair to you if we continued to go on like this" her face said it all she needed to get something out soon.

I wasn't done yet, but I let her speak anyway "Just say it"

She hesitated only briefly "it's because of him right?" The unexpected turn in the conversation caught Kirishima off guard, not knowing what to answer "So I was right"

I couldn't deny it so nodding my head seemed to be the best option "Uhm"

"Do you mind telling me the rest of the story then?" She had a sad smile on her face, but her expression wasn't angry or upset, rather it was calm and caring

Smiling back at her I continued the rest of my story "there isn't much to tell, although it feels like there isn't enough time to tell you everything" the understanding in her eyes made me confident to continue

I told her everything that happened between me and Yokozawa. From what was going through my head when I first saw him to when I gave him a tour, I didn't tell her about the panic attacks cause that's just something too personal for me to tell. I told her about the library and the way home from it, about the hug and how good and natural it felt

Lastly, I told her that I kissed him yesterday and nothing ever felt more right than that. The way my body reacted was something I never experienced before, no offense towards Sakura, but It was new in a positive way

"I don't know how I got home later that night but I did, I knew I had to straighten things up with the both of you, it did feel better to first tell you and give Yokozawa some space first"

Hopeful eyes looked over his hands to the woman in front of him

"Well the only thing I know for sure, after I listened to everything you just said, is that you really are in love with him" she downed the last bit of her coffee and just smiled lovingly

"Yeah I guess your right but what am I supposed to do now" scratching his head in frustration was starting to look like a daily routine for him now

"Well after you told me everything we found out you love him and what happened between us feel more like really good friends right?"

Her help and support means a lot to me, we care for one another like "family"

"Eh?" I finally realized why Yokozawa is different from Sakura

"Ah I just realized something now" Kirishima also finished his coffee and continued "the reason why my feelings towards Yokozawa are different than the ones I have for you"

"Well if you know, would you mind saying it straight instead of beating around the bush like usual?"

"Haha I'm sorry, it's you feel like family, like a little sister I never had. I've always had this strong sense of wanting to protect you. I mostly thought it was out of jealousy, but after spending time with Yokozawa I now know it wasn't jealous it was more"

Sakura finished my sentence when I couldn't come up with the right word to describe it "you did it out of worry and protectiveness. You've always had this strong urge to protect the ones you love and care about, that's one of the things I fell for" the brunette saw the glimmering in her sad eyes and didn't say anything else

"Look you don't have to worry about me okay, I'll be fine. To be honest I was kinda prepared for it" a tiny laugh escaped her mouth

"Prepared that I was gonna leave you for someone else? I got to say that kinda hurts, do I seem that disloyal?" She was quick to shake her head

"No, on the contrary, you are really loyal to everyone you care about. The thing is I have never seen you care about someone particularly more than anyone else. I always tried to push the thoughts away, that maybe you just haven't found the right person and.. " the tears in her eyes became more and more visible

Kirishima wanted to wipe away the tears, but Sakura pushed his hands away and did it herself "look I'm okay, I just need a little time to process this all and you have to go talk to him. You have to clear it all up if you still want that little chance that is left" she put her hand on his "you can do that for me and yourself right, and more importantly do it for him"

Sakura was right Yokozawa was a vulnerable person with a hard outer layer. He builds everything up and it doesn't look like he has someone he could go to, or rather not anymore. I have Gou and most of the time also the rest of the group, but he is alone right now.

I just started to feel that he could open up to me and now I ruined it by kissing him, it felt right but maybe it was completely different for him, he did run away

It was because of the shock of suddenly being kissed by a 'stranger' for all he knows, but Kirishima could feel his Hope's decreasing and started to lose his confidence

"I'm gonna stop you right there mister" I looked up but she didn't give me a chance to interrupt "you are not gonna feel down, that's not how you are. You are a strong overconfident man who likes to tease people but knows when to quit. You do everything for the people you care about and you beat the hell out of the ones who hurt them if we didn't stop you" I smiled at Sakura's way of giving pep talks

"So when you finally found someone you want to care and protect more than others you should be on your highest level of confidence and go for it and..."

I silently waited for her to finish. She took a deep breath looked right into my eyes with a seriousness that whatever she would say know couldn't be denied by anyone "And you deserve it, you deserve to be happy Zen. You deserve to think about yourself for once, think about what you want to do and go for it. That's all I'm asking from you. Please listen to this last demand of your soon to be ex"

Tears were now flowing freely of her cheeks but she smiled, smiled with the most beautiful smile I ever saw her with. Her eyes full of tears were also full of love and trust and confidence that I could do this, there was a sadness to but she didn't let me worry about that for long

She wiped away her tears, stood up, pulled me out of my chair and pushed me towards the doors "W-wait what are you doing-" she didn't let me finish as she gave me the final push out of the door

She looked at me no room to argue back "Go now don't worry about your stuff I'll bring it to you later, now go!"

I gave her a big smile "thank you" I turned around and went in the direction of the dorms where Yokozawa stayed at

When Kirishima was out of sight Sakura's tears started to flow once again "Good luck Zen, make sure you grab hold of your own happiness"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Well anyways here is finally episode ten I hope you enjoyed it and are looking forward to the next one where these two confused boys may clear things up, or is the tension going to keep on going between them
> 
> Anyways hope you like it and I'd love to see you all at the next chapter that will hopefully be posted soon. Character thoughts are in italics
> 
> Bye Bye 


	11. unspoken feelings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: trigger warning is activated, if you aren't comfortable with mentioning of self-harm please stop reading once you don't feel well.

[Yokozawa's P.O.V.]

He woke up in a daze not knowing when let alone how he fell asleep. The clock on his bedside table told him it was now 1 o'clock. In general, was Yokozawa the early to bed and early to rise type

The male always went to bed when he knew he understood everything from the subject matter he was revising and revised it thoroughly enough. He strongly believed that if you worked hard and prepared your work properly, you don't have to lose sleep over it.

Although the current situation was far more complicated, it was from an entirely different nature than just a simple study problem

If only it was a maths or English problem cause the answers to those questions are easy to find in a book or online. This problem was completely different, it was a problem on a personal level the kind he rather avoids _'I mean he kissed me'_ how could he find a solution to this situation in a book.

If you asked Yokozawa to describe what he feels right now, it was simple yet complicated. He felt frustrated, to say the least, confused about himself and the brunette and lastly, he just felt lost

At the moment his only option was to confront the cause of all his confusion and just ask the guy straight out _'wait, doesn't he has a girlfriend? Yeah it has to be a mistake, who in his right mind would like a serious, stoic and distant person like me'_

Dark thoughts were starting to cloud his mind, just like a sunny day that's getting ready for a big upcoming storm

Yokozawa has learned from own experience to never get his Hope's up, especially not for a straight guy _'a straight guy who's taken'_ deep sighs could be heard over the whole dorm room 

The present situation made unwanted memories from the past resurface, memories he tries so hard to forget every day again. But sometimes his willpower just isn't strong enough to keep them away

He went over to his bed and turned on his phone his lock screen brought him a peace of mind. It was a picture of the kitten he saved and took care of a few years ago. Sorata was now 4 years old and stayed at his sisters' place, that was in the middle of his previous university and his current one

Yokozawa often visited his sister on breaks and in the vacations and talked with her about everything. However, after the incident he closed himself up and hasn't talked to her in these past three weeks

He unlocked his phone and saw that he had over twenty unread messages, most were from his sister. She often asked how he was, what he was doing and when he would visit again. The message was always accompanied by a picture of his adorable feline Sorata

The other message was from an unknown number, even though he knows who it is, he doesn't save it. The name alone from this stranger sent cold shivers through his spine

He blocked a lot of his numbers but after some thoughts, he decides to just let it be and ignore the messages. He didn't wanna read them, he wasn't strong enough to handle them, at least not now

Not feeling in the mood to reassure his sister, he opened his photo's and scrolled through the album with Sorata's pictures. His dear friend always calmed him down, cause he knew whatever he does or feel he wouldn't judge him or leave him as many did before

Only when a certain picture passed by did Yokozawa realize that going through the album was a big mistake

There he was smiling brightly to the camera, making a peace sign with his one hand while the other was holding Sorata in an awkward position. It was cute when he took it, but now it just hurts. He felt nauseous _'how could I have trusted him, how could I have let him into my life'_

All the feelings he has been holding up came out with no sign of stopping. He felt betrayed, used, sick and mostly dirty. He hates it, what did he ever do to deserve this, was it so bad to just want someone by your side you can trust and who understands you. Is it a sin to want a friend

Tears streamed down his face, his body started to shake uncontrollably. Everything went black, he just wanted to stop, but his head was spinning and everything looked blurry

' _It hurts'_ he just doesn't want to feel anymore, to get it out he tried to walk to the bathroom to take a shower. If he was lucky and scrubbed hard enough he may feel clean and less disgusted of himself

He reached the bathroom and somehow he made his way inside. Once inside he immediately went to throw up in the toilet. It released this weird sense of pressure in his stomach

He took off his jacket that he was still wearing since yesterday and just let it fall on the ground next to his feet. He unbuttoned his dark blue shirt, left it in the same way as his jacket. succeeding in turning on the shower somehow, not caring that he was still wearing his pants, he stepped inside

The water was ice cold, but Yokozawa didn't care he just didn't wanna feel anymore. Hoping the cold water would numb his senses. It numbed him a little but not enough, his head was still pounding and spinning

The shower reminded him strongly of that threatful evening, where his tears were masked by the heavy rain similar to what the shower did right now. The heavy rain combined with a fierce wind made it feel like he was in the middle of a snowstorm, he wanted to stay there hoping he would faint and forget everything. but the memories of what just happened made him move forward step by step

All these memories made him feel dirty all over his body, he could still feel those hands roaming over every part of him. Yokozawa wanted to scrub himself so hard, but there was no soap left in the stall. So he got out with his soaked hair and pants, that made his legs feel heavy and opened the cabinet above the sink

The now throughout soaked male took the first bottle of soap his hand could reach and saw something shining behind it. Putting the soap bottle down he reached in the back of the cabinet for the object

This object was the one thing he promised he'd throw away, but couldn't bring himself to actually do it. The shimmering he saw was caused by the lock of a tiny wooden box, made from a fake goldlike metal

Dark memories kept flooding his mind, from what happened that day, how he got back, the betrayal and the deep pain he felt even until this day. He remembered the relief he felt when it all started. That pain made him feel alive, but it also made him feel literally nothing. It was confusing and addictive at the same time

Yokozawa's legs finally gave in and he slid down the sink and sat against the cabinet. His lifeless grey eyes stared at the tiny box for a while before opening it. inside there were seven razor blades from different sizes, the little rationality that was left told him not to do it _'you promised your sister you wouldn't do it again'_ the voice in his head was easily overthrown by the desire to forget it all

Thoughts of the beautiful brunette were thrown to the back of his mind, so he took one of the blades and cut his upper left arm, driven by the desire to feel something different and to have proof that he's alive

Blood was flowing out from every cut he made, it slid along his arm, to his elbow, to finally drop on the bathroom floor. Yokozawa took a sharp breath at the familiar sensation of a sharp pain cutting in his flesh. The feeling of the blood flowing out of him made him feel alive yet lifeless and weak

Captivated by the beautiful crimson red color, Yokozawa just sat there watching his blood dripping on the floor drop after drop. Forgetting everything on his mind, tears are still streaming down his face that was getting paler by the minute. He knew he had to clean the freshly made wounds, but the peaceful darkness he was starting to fall into was holding him back from doing just that

Closing his eyes and letting himself fall deeper and deeper by the minute, hearing words in the distance however he couldn't decipher them. Yokozawa didn't want to hear it anyway, not when he has finally reached the darkness that made him exactly what he wanted to, nothing. 

A somewhat louder noise could be registered followed by words that sounded scared, worried. It was a voice full of panic from what Yokozawa could still perceive. It didn't take long before he felt a warmth spread from his shoulders to the rest of his body, he felt his body getting shaken

The voice was getting louder every second, the male knew this was a sign that he was getting pulled out from this endless pit of darkness. He wanted to fight against this pulling force, but because of the voice that was getting clearer, he didn't. The voice sounds so warm, it was unfamiliar yet it was the thing he was looking for all this time.

He knew who it was however he couldn't open his eyes, he was scared that it may all be a trick of his imagination. Yokozawa didn't want to open his eyes, to just see nothing.

"YOKOZAWA" this time the voice sounded so desperate and demanding "PLEASE OPEN YOUR EYES, PLEASE" the warm liquid that started to fall on his chest made him realize that it was real, that he was real. The realization was the last push he needed to get out from darkness he was longing for, not too long ago 

_'Kirishima'_

[Kirishima's P.O.V.]

Kirishima ran and ran, wanting to get to Yokozawa's dorm as fast as he possibly could. his breath was getting shorter but he didn't mind, he just kept running. He thanked Sakura in his head and heart for being this understanding even though it was visible that she was hurt. She always gave the best advice even in this situation

It took Kirishima twenty minutes before finally reaching the university dorms. He sprinted inside to the elevators, but Kirishima was getting impatient waiting on the damn thing to arrive, so he decided to just take the stairs.

He reached the sixth floor in almost no time _'I've already come this far there is no point in slowing down'_ only stopping when he saw the door with the number 1618. The brunette closed his eyes and took a deep breath and knocked on the door

He stood there for a whole minute waiting on a response, so he knocked again, there was still no answer. He put his head against the door hoping to hear some kind of sign that would dedicate that the male was inside. Feeling relieved when he heard the faint sound of the shower, however, he didn't know when Yokozawa would be done

Just when he wanted to take his ear from the door, a loud sound caught his attention and nothing following it. This made him worried and he started to knock on the door again, still, no sound indicated that his knocking was heard. Worry was taking over his senses, the memories from previous events made their way to the front of his mind

He knocked again, this time more frantically. He tried to pull on the doorknob and to his surprise and relief it wasn't locked, he pushed the door open and closed it quickly "Yokozawa"

There was nothing so he went to the bathroom door where the only sound in the room came from, he knocked "Yokozawa are you in there?" still no response "I'm gonna come in okay?" he waited for a second before he opened the door

What he saw when he came in made his blood run cold, his breath got stuck in his throat and mind went blank. The good thing was, he found Yokozawa, the bad thing was in which state he found him. There Yokozawa was sitting against the cabinet, eyes closed, blood running down from multiple cuts on his upper arm and a razor blade in his right hand that laid next to his body

Kirishima went to in a blind panic, regretting that he didn't bring his car today, then maybe he would be here on time to stop him. His first reaction was to squad down in front of him and check his heartbeat, relieved to hear a heartbeat it was slightly slower than how it should be, but it was there

He started to shake the man as gently as physically possible in his state "YOKOZAWA" he desperately needed Yokozawa to open his eyes. He didn't know how long he's been laying in here, but seeing only a small puddle of blood, it couldn't have been very long, which gave Kirishima hope that he could open his eyes

Trying to stop the bleeding with a towel that was hanging next to the sink, put pressure on the several cuts, not taking his eyes of Yokozawa

"PLEASE OPEN YOUR EYES, PLEASE" the brunette didn't know when tears started to stream down his face, but right now that was the last thing on his mind. He just wanted to see those beautiful steel grey eyes, from the man he wanted to do everything for, the man he was fell for so hard

Then it happened, Yokozawa slowly opened his eyes half and looked straight at Kirishima. Kirishima couldn't control his happiness and a smile appeared on his face, he was so happy to see those eyes staring at him

"Kirishima?" came the soft voice barely audible however for Kirishima it was like a call from heaven. In the next second, he had his arms tightly wrapped around Yokozawa's shoulders, calming down by the soft breaths he felt on his neck

"I'm so glad you're awake, I don't know what I would've done if you didn't open your eyes" gradually he started to calm down and his tears stopped, slowly he moved away from the slightly shivering man and looked in his eyes. His lifeless eyes started to come alive bit by bit 

"I-I..." He tried to speak, but I stopped him, seeing that he wasn't really in the best state to talk

"shh, you don't have to say anything now, but do you have a first aid kit here? I need to address those wounds" Yokozawa did what Kirishima said and stopped talking, he did point to the cabinet he was sitting against

Kirishima helped Yokozawa move so he could open the cabinet and get out the first aid kit. The kit had everything it needed and was perfectly organized. he picked out some disinfect "This may sting a little" just when he put the product on the wounds Yokozawa hissed a little "sorry" 

After he cleaned the wounds he picked up some bandages placed it carefully on the just cleaned wounds and wrapped gently but firm a gauze around it, once he secured the gauze he put the first aid kit back in its place

Yokozawa was still shivering so Kirishima stood up turned off the still running shower and went to his closet to get some fresh dry clothes, only after making sure Yokozawa wouldn't do anything more to himself. He picked out a pair of underwear, a warm and comfortable pajama and went back to Yokozawa. The male had calmed down and was trying to take his pants off, with not much success seeing that his arms were still weak

So Kirishima placed the fresh clothes on the toilet after he flushed down the contents and closed it and went to help him. His pants were soaked through and stuck to his legs, but in the end, they came off "Here dry yourself off, I've put some fresh clothes on the toilet. Go change I'll be waiting outside okay?" The dark-haired male just nodded his head, so Kirishima went outside the bathroom, but left a tiny opening

I went to the little kitchen it has and opens the cabinets looking for something that could help the male, after a little bit of searching Kirishima finally found what he was looking for. He pulled out a pack of green thee with lemon, he also pulls out two thee cups. He started to boil some water and placed to thee bags in the cup, putting the rest of the box away

Just when he was done making the thee he heard Yokozawa enter the living space "Sorry that I went through your stuff, but I thought you could use this" I handed him the warm cup of thee

He shook his head and accepted the thee "Thanks" he whispered 

"Your welcome" I followed him towards the small table and placed my cup on it "why don't you sit down and drink your thee while I clean up" 

Seeing Yokozawa do as he said he was happy and went back to the bathroom, Just seeing the little blood on the floor made his stomach turn, but he started to clean it up anyway. He threw his clothes in the laundry basket, put everything back where it belonged then he carefully placed the blade in the box with the other, locked it and put it in the pocket of his jacket planning in throwing the blades away later.

He turned off the lights and exited the bathroom, he took off his shoes and jacket and placed them at the entrance. Then he went back to where Yokozawa was, took one of the blankets he found earlier and placed it over his shoulders, afterward I sat down on the left side from him and took a sip of his now lukewarm thee

"Whatever you want to say, just say it" Kirishima was a little shocked that Yokozawa said that, but he understood _'does he think I'm gonna lash out at him'_ he put the cup down looked right at Yokozawa

"Hey look at me" Yokozawa didn't seem to want to look away from the interesting things that are happening in his thee cup, however, Kirishima was having none of it. He took Yokozawa's chin and made him look at him "If you think I'm mad, then your right I am. I mean after what I just witnessed it would be weird if I wasn't" Yokozawa just listened and didn't dare or wanted to interrupt the man from talking

"However, I don't know why you did that and I won't judge, although if I'm being honest I'm really curious to know what has driven you to do that to yourself. But most importantly I'm so glad I came here and that you're okay. I mean do you have any idea how I felt when saw you sitting there, blood running out from multiple wounds" Yokozawa didn't try to look away, instead he just sat there listening intently

"I'm sorry" the apology was sincere and it broke Kirishima's heart. Here he was planning on telling this man right in front of him that he was falling stupidly fast and hard for him, instead, he found the man lying unconscious on his bathroom floor with blood dripping from his arm. There was no way he could tell the guy now, not when he is this vulnerable, it ould only make things worse

But right now he was just happy that he found him on time and everything is okay, at least physically, mentally he is still unstable

Yokozawa started to shiver again, so Kirishima went to sit next to him, getting under the blanket with him and hugged the beautiful person that was Yokozawa Takafumi close to him to warm him up. Soon enough Kirishima could hear soft breathing coming from Yokozawa, Looks like everything that happened has taken a big toll on his body

Kirishima pulled him even closer towards him and whispered gently "I love you Takafumi, have sweet dreams" he kissed his head before following Yokozawa into dreamland

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys I'm sorry for this heavy chapter, but it had to be written at some point so I'm glad it is finally over, at least for now
> 
> When I started this chapter I didn't think I would go this direction, but it felt "right" for how far that's possible
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter and that I got you intrigued by future ones. Just like always, character thoughts are in italics and images aren't mine. See you all in the next chapter
> 
> Bye-bye


	12. glad your okay

[Kirishima's POV]

It was pitch black when he opened his eyes, he couldn't tell left from right. Everything around him was silent except for the faint sound of falling drops of some kind of liquid. Kirishima tried to look for where the sound was coming from. Only to find himself looking up to one hell of a horrifying view

"Stop!" He shouted so loud as he could but it all seemed to be in vain, as blood kept on running from the self-inflicted wounds that kept on increasing with no signs of stopping. His feet felt like lead like they've been frozen to the underground he couldn't even see. The only thing he could do was watch in horror how the man he fell in love with so bad kept on cutting more in that beautiful pale skin, that felt so much softer than he expected

Internally he was begging his feet to start moving again even if it was only a little bit _'please just a little. I need to stop him'_ Yokozawa's skin was getting paler with each cut, it was now close to a porcelain white. Tears were clouding his vision and his whole body broke down in a cold sweat from fear and worry. For the first time in his life, he felt truly helpless and it is the absolute worst

His knees gave out when he saw Yokozawa's hands fall down, it all happened in slow motion while his brain was going in overdrive. Hundreds of emotions went through his head when suddenly everything went blank the only thought clear in his mind _'Please don't take him away from me'_

His eyes were constantly filled with new fresh tears, that started to flow quicker. Then it happened the raven's body fell to the ground his steely grey eyes looking Kirishima right in the eyes. He couldn't do anything as he saw the light inside them slowly fade away like it was never even there. As those eyes started to close down Kirishima finally found back his voice to scream

Then he woke up his heart beating fast and found it difficult to catch his breath "it was only a dream" he signed. Only the relief was short-lived when he realized that the man in question wasn't next to him as he previously was. He was frantically looking around him worry growing inside of him when he couldn't locate the male anywhere.

It was only then that he noted a delicious smell, he slowly took the blanket off and stood up. He made his way to the tiny kitchen of the room and relief washed over him when he saw it was the raven heads cooking that gave off this amazingly delicious scent

He just leaned against the opening to the tiny space and watched how the male was skillfully cooking up a nice and mouth-watering Katsudon bowl. Kirishima felt blissful just observing him when Yokozawa sensed him he just calmly continued his cooking. Before he even had the chance to speak up to the newly arrived visitor he felt two warm arms sneak around his waist. A second later ahead of fluffy light brown hair started to lean his chin against Yokozawa's right shoulder to take a closer look at what the raven was cooking

The hair was tickling the side of his face and a slight shudder went down his spine as he felt the taller man breathe on his neck "What do you think you're doing?" Yokozawa asked him while not losing focus on what he was doing

"watching your cooking, what else could I be doing?" the sign that the other man let out next made it rather clear that's not what he wanted to hear

"They never taught you that it's dangerous to approach someone who's cooking? It's not only dangerous for the one doing the cooking but his surroundings as well" This statement was even more proof of how a kind and caring person Yokozawa is. Kirishima didn't bother to say anymore and just leaned his head on Yokozawa's shoulder even further and a small smile was gracing his lips. He inhaled the natural scent that was coming from Yokozawa, it was a mixture of citrus and the mellow fragrance of vanilla _'he smells so good'_

The raven didn't even bother to try to remove the brunettes head anymore. A comfortable silence settled down over the two men, the only sounds that could be heard were the sizzling sound of the meat cooking in the pan. Kirishima closed his eyes and just enjoyed the moment. The mood that was now inside this cramped space was oddly calming to the taller male, especially with the raven safely in his arms

He loved the feeling of the man in his arms, it was weird how natural it felt. Kirishima was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't realize that the stove has been turned off until he heard the male's voice again right next to him "I'm done cooking you know, so can you let me go or do you want to wait till it's cold?"

Kirishima inhaled Yokozawa's scent one more time before slowly and most importantly reluctantly removing his arms from the male. When was finally freed from the man's grip he turned around to look at a Kirishima who looked a little pale in his opinion "Are you okay? you look a little pale" He proceeded to place his hand on the others forehead to check if he didn't have a fever

Taking the hand of his forehead he reassured the worrying male "I'm fine, just glad that you're okay" Yokozawa didn't see that answer coming and as guilt started to build up in his stomach he couldn't help but look down. It didn't take long before Kirishima used his hand that wasn't holding on to Yokozawa's to tilt his chin up to look into his eyes "You don't have to feel guilty about it okay, you just weren't in the right state of mind. That's why please don't look down but up at me, okay?"

The smile that spread over whole Kirishima's face and the serious look in his eyes made his heart skip a beat and felt unable to respond to that honesty, so he just nodded his head. Not looking away seemed the only way he could show his gratitude

"well what do you say, that we dig into that delicious food you prepared before it gets cold" Yokozawa responded by turning around and picking up the two bowl of food and handing them over to Kirishima while he took out two pairs of chopsticks and two glasses together with a bottle of oolong thee

They sat down at the small table in the living area "Itadakimasu" they said in unison and while Kirishima started to dig in Yokozawa was filling both their glasses. When they were both eating Kirishima was feeling a little self-conscious seeing Yokozawa eating with perfect manners and a graceful position

It's not like he could help it the food that the raven prepared was just too good, he was pretty sure of the fact that the male was an amazing cook. They ate in silence, too focused on the food to even care about starting a conversation. A couple of minutes later they both finished eating "gochisosama" Now full and content Kirishima laid down placing his hands behind his head

Yokozawa had already started to clean up the table "I'm curious though"

"Uhm?" the raven looked down towards the man who was now comfortably laying down on his floor. The brunette didn't show any signs of sitting up any time soon, he could easily lay there for the rest of the day

"Well, first I didn't even know you could cook let alone this good" the raven looked away to prevent him from seeing the slight blush that was starting to appear on his face. Kirishima saw this and sat up straight to hopefully get a better look at the light flush that was decorating the male's face "how did you learn how to cook?"

He cleared his throat to regain his composure and looked back at the curious brunette that placed his arms underneath him and looked up right back at him. Expecting a short and simple answer, but he was surprised by what the male said "My parents were away often for work so I spend a lot of time with my Grandmother and I enjoyed helping her cook. So I learned most things from her and I just continued cooking for myself and sometimes my family" he had a soft expression on his face when he started to talk about his grandmother _'seems likes he's really fond of the woman'_

"And since I entered college and lived on my own I just had to look out for myself and ..." He looked at his hands that lay in his lap. The fond expression on his face was now replaced by one of sadness as Yokozawa slightly shook his head

Noticing the change in expression he avoided going deeper into the subject "well it's impressive enough that you can even cook, I'm pretty much banned from all kitchens cause their worried I'll hurt myself" Yokozawa appreciated the change in subject and looked back at the man for the second time

"what do you mean, everyone can at least cook a little" Kirishima only chuckled at this response indeed, normally everyone can at least do something simple, well except if your Kirishima Zen

His confusion wasn't uncommon most people don't believe him when he says he can't cook at all "Well, yeah everyone but me can. I on the other side am hopeless in everything that involves cooking, I'm the kind of guy that is so clumsy in the kitchen that he can't even peel an apple properly let alone cooking a simple egg" laughing at his friends' words that were annoyingly accurate for once

"Let me guess house-chores aren't your thing either?"

faking a shocked expression "Eh, who told you that?"

"Are you serious, do you even know how to take care of yourself? Don't tell me you still bring your laundry to your parents" Yokozawa got his answer when Kirishima looked away "You've got to be kidding me"

"What they said they don't mind cause then they get to see me more often, so what's the harm" he looked so innocent like he didn't even think it was a little weird "Plus is it weird to rely on your parents for things you can't do yourself. It's not like you never ask anything from your parents anymore right"

Yokozawa went silent quickly after Kirishima finished talking, now looking at him his eyes were wide and his skin went slightly paler. Seeing this Kirishima became worried "Ah, sorry did I say something wrong?" it feels like he just said something insensitive, but looking back at their conversation he just couldn't find out exactly what

Yokozawa just looked back to his lap and shook his head again "No, it's just that I don't really talk to my parents anymore"

"Ah, I'm sorry that was insensitive of me" Kirishima felt bad cause it looked like he hurt him

"Don't worry about it, it's not like you could've known that" He continued to stand up to go clean the dishes. It's true that he couldn't have known, but he didn't like the feeling of not knowing anything about him. He did like how every time they talked Yokozawa seemed to open up to him more and more, he learned something new every time

"Do you want some help with that, you were the one that cooked for me so" he called after the raven that just disappeared into the kitchen

"After what you just told me, do you think I'll ever let you into my kitchen"

"Haha, could've seen that one coming"

"If you know the answer then why bother to ask in the first place?" Yokozawa's sign was audible up to the living space "If I didn't know better, I would think you tell people all this so you can escape needing to do anything"

"So you're telling me that you know me" Yokozawa knows that the man was just teasing him, but he figured the best way to counter it was by putting a stop to the ongoing conversation

"Forget it" he could hear Kirishima laughing, he really enjoyed the sound of it. It sounded really warm and carefree if only he could laugh like that again _'just stop thinking about that'_ blocking his mind for any further thoughts he started with the task of cleaning the dishes

Yokozawa put away the last of the dishes in the cabinet and went back to sit in his spot next to Kirishima "Ne"

"Uhm?" Kirishima opened his eyes and looked at Yokozawa that was looking a little shy and uncomfortable "something wrong?"

Yokozawa didn't know how to go about to voice his concerns, he wasn't that open of a person, to begin with. He rather sits somewhere quiet to read a book, away from all the drama. Of course, it wasn't like he didn't have any friends it was just that he was really quiet and shy. A lot of people he thought of as friends left him in the end because they found him being indifferent and uninterested in their friendship, which wasn't true but he wasn't the type of guy who would chase after people who didn't want to be with him anyways

After thinking for a while he steeled his nerves and just come out and say it "You know after everything that has happened there is one thing I still can't figure out"

A while of patiently waiting on Yokozawa to continue he just asked him as the raven was about to sink away in his thoughts "And what is that?" he grew worried as Yokozawa wasn't looking at him anymore. steely eyes kept looking down mouth opening and closing a couple of times before he inhaled deeply

He turned around now finally facing Kirishima "Why did you come to my room today, it could've just been a coincidence but you just don't strike me as a person who would go somewhere without a reason to so..." Kirishima started to panic a little at the sudden but logical question "I was just wondering so if it's nothing then just forget I asked anything" he softly whispered this last part, internally hoping Kirishima didn't hear it. But how couldn't he have heard it they weren't even sitting a meter away from one another

Kirishima indeed came for a reason, in his opinion a really important one but how important it may have been after what happened today he just didn't think it was the right moment to tell _'well I came here today cause I just needed to tell how hard I fell in love with you, please be my lover'_ like hell he could say that to the guy that just went through some major bad shit

It just didn't felt right to confess now, he felt like he would be taking advantage of Yokozawa's weakened state and that was the last thing he wanted. Now thinking a week is too quick, but he was sure about how he felt about

Yokozawa may seem intimidating and unapproachable and that keeps most people at bay, but when you try to get close to him your quick to realize the kind and caring layers that lay underneath the thick skin he builds up over the years. His eyes are the best example of the fact that this man has been through more than he should've

"It wasn't anything important so don't worry about it" He felt bad for lying, but there was just no way that he could tell him right now. Not when he didn't even know how Yokozawa was doing

It will be proven difficult to hold back these feelings but he'll try his hardest if that is what he thinks is right for him

"What aren't you telling me" Kirishima was taken aback by this comment, he knew from experience that people had a hard time looking through him. Friends could only read him a little, his family on the other side had no trouble at all. In general, he was confident about his skills to mask his true feeling if he needed to, he mostly believed that honesty was one of the best traits someone could have. So having a guy he has only known for week figuring him out was weird "So I was right"

"H-how" did something give him away, was he stuttering or nervous? No, he's pretty sure he was the same as always

"Ah well, you kinda have the habit to look people in the eyes if you're talking to them. And when I asked you just now you first looked surprised. Then you looked away when you answered me, you looked kinda panicked when I was suspecting you. Lastly, I guess just a feeling" Kirishima couldn't do anything but stare at him in awe as he appeared to have a talent in observing and analyzing people, much like he did

"Well if you don't wanna tell me then I guess that is fine" staring into his half-full glass of thee, a sad smile was grazing his lips

Yokozawa didn't know why he felt sad all of a sudden, just because Kirishima didn't want to tell him something. He felt irritated and not at Kirishima, but at himself for getting worked up over such a trivial matter

"It's not like I don't want to tell you" He was so confident when he came here, but right now he was just scared of Yokozawa's reaction. What if he ruined this relationship by telling him how he felt, maybe he will feel disgusted or angry because it looks like he came to him with those intentions from the start. He may scare him away and it didn't seem like he could take anything more on his plate than he already had, it may be too much for him to handle

"I told you it's fine" Yokozawa wanted to end this conversation as quickly as possible, he felt like he was going to break down if he didn't hurry and stop this. His eyes were already getting wet, it was like Kirishima was treating him like a little kid that couldn't take on anything. It wasn't weird seeing what he had witnessed only a few hours ago, but it still hurt _'but why does it hurt so much'_ Yokozawa felt helpless "maybe I'm really weak"

"Why do you think so little of yourself!" it was only then that Yokozawa realized that he said it out loud. Kirishima took hold of his shoulders and Yokozawa couldn't stop a tear from rolling down his face at what Kirishima said next "You're an amazing person, you're smart, kind and care for people and you're always ready to give people a helping hand. on top of that all you can cook, take care of yourself. So it's okay to ask for help once in a while when you feel like you can't do it on your own"

His heart rate went up, he felt the heat rising to his face and another tear tried to make its way down. He wanted to ask why but was unable to as Kirishima's soft lips pressed against his own. It felt warm and secure, it wasn't rushed or forced but gentle and caring. Yokozawa couldn't help but close his eyes and let Kirishima take over his senses

He was chasing the warmth that was this man's lips, he didn't know why but he didn't want this moment to pass. He was desperately hoping that time could just stop moving cause for the first time in while his mind was completely free of any dark thought, the only thing on his mind was the man who was kissing him so gently, it wasn't even the first time.

The kiss only lasted for a few seconds, but to Yokozawa it felt like hours had passed in the period of those few precious seconds. When Kirishima moved away from Yokozawa's lips, Yokozawa didn't want anything else but to have those lips back on his

Kirishima placed both hands on Yokozawa's face and looked right at him with a serious yet loving expression "If you want to know why it's simple" He wiped the remaining tears away from his eyes "It's because you made a man like me fall in love with you"

Yokozawa's wish got fulfilled when Kirishima leaned back for a kiss, this one wasn't as gentle and careful as the previous ones. No, it was a deeper kiss, a kiss to convey his deep feelings to Yokozawa. He got his answer when Yokozawa didn't back away but kissed him back instead

For the time being, they could only relish in this beautiful moment, and let their feelings take control as their hearts were beating as one

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N : sry for the super late update and I swear the next update won't take so long so for now character thoughts are italics
> 
> bye bye see you all next chapter


	13. Knowing that your here

[Yokozawa's P.O.V.]

The kiss felt good, it felt right but as it went on Yokozawa heard warning bells resonating in his head. This was getting dangerous and he was scared that he would lose himself if this went on any longer. The other part of him just didn't to want let go of this warmth that was slowly but surely spreading over his whole body

It was then that his rationality finally kicked in _'Kirishima has a girlfriend!'_ he shouldn't be kissing someone else, even saying he made him fall in love _'how could I make someone like Kirishima fall in love with me, that's just ridiculous'_

Kirishima's eyes flashed through his mind for a second, that seriousness in them certainly didn't say that he was joking, but how is that even possible. Could someone like him really fall in love with a broken soul like him, it just doesn't make sense _'He must be confused, yeah that's probably it?'_ not long after those eyes flashed by came the image of Kirishima and Sakura happily smiling together and erased the previous image

That was the final push his head needed to bring his body back into action, he steeled himself and put his hands that were previously laying still in his lap up to Kirishima's shoulders and pushed him away. He couldn't open his eyes as he felt the warmth slip away

After he pushed the other away and put some distance between the two of them he still wasn't able to open his eyes, he was scared to see the expression on the other man's face. "I'm sorry" he finally opened his eyes at the small voice that came from the brunette "I-I just couldn't ..."

[Nobody's P.O.V.]

"Ah no it's just that, we shouldn't be doing something like this" One of his hands was still holding on to the others shoulder, while the other was taking hold of the material of his sleeping shirt

"why?" the voice sounded so vulnerable, Kirishima could hardly recognize it as his own, he was hoping to see an answer in his eyes, but for whatever reason, he was just unable to do so. He truly cared about this man and he was serious about his feelings. Thinking that the other man felt at least something for him too, seeing that he didn't push him away immediately but he was getting nervous now that he couldn't read him

Yokozawa was biting on his bottom lip searching for what to say, his head was still a little dizzy because of what just happened. He looked up at Kirishima, the confusion was evident on his face and he felt bad for not answering him

Taking in a deep breath he tried his best to say the words that lay at the front of his mind "It's wrong" he started, hoping Kirishima would understand soon enough what he meant. What he didn't want was to see Kirishima with such a sad and hurt look in his eyes, it just didn't fit the usual hyper and easy going man

"What, because we're both guys?" it didn't make sense even if Yokozawa was uncomfortable with being with someone of the same sex, would he really have let Kirishima so close to him after he first kissed him, let alone kiss him back just seconds ago

"Ah no, it's not that" actually he came out years ago to his family, in all honesty, he had to admit that he was starting to like the guy to. He knew he shouldn't feel like this, the guy had a girlfriend for god's sake so why did he do this _'was he cheating on Sakura? With him!'_ no that couldn't be the case Kirishima didn't seem like the person who would betray his friends and loved ones, he even told him that straight out

"Then what is it?" he didn't look like he was kidding, but how couldn't Kirishima see what the problem was. Yokozawa was distracted from his train of thoughts when he felt the brunette cover the hand that was still holding on to his shoulder. He looked straight in Yokozawa's eyes not wanting to miss a single thing that went on inside of them "can you please tell me what your thinking?"

"well ... " he was biting his lip once again and Kirishima couldn't help but think that this little habit was oh so adorable, he was happy when hesitant eyes didn't look away from him. he was waiting patiently for an answer not trying to rush the raven, he didn't want to pressure him "aren't you still ...." he was trying his best to say what he needed, but words were stuck in his throat

Kirishima lightly squeezed the other's hands to encourage him to finish his sentence. Yokozawa stopped biting his lip, steeled his resolve and just decided to go for it "aren't you with Sakura?" his voice was so soft it was barely audible, but it finally dawned on him

He wanted to hit himself on the head, how stupid could he be. There was no way that Yokozawa could've known that he already broke up with Sakura and that it was actually her that forced him to man up and confess to the raven, but now that he knew what was bothering the other he just couldn't keep the small smile from forming on his face

Yokozawa was getting frustrated with the man for the first time since he got to know him, how can he just laugh like that, this was serious "This isn't something to laugh about" he was truly irritated when Kirishima didn't show any signs of stopping "whatever"

He had taken his hand back and was about to stand up when Kirishima grabbed his wrist to hold him in place "I'm sorry, it's my fault that you misunderstood" this made the steely blue eyes of the man only look at him in confusion

"What do you mean?"

Taking the ravens hands in his and just looked at the man "well because of everything that has happened since I got here, it just kinda slipped my mind" guilty eyes were staring right back at his almond ones "hey don't worry about it, I know you were going through some stuff and I won't push you for an explanation if you don't want to tell me"

After Yokozawa gave him a small nod he carefully continued, so he wouldn't get too overwhelmed "Actually before I came here yesterday I met up with Sakura to talk with her, about the feelings I was developing for you" Kirishima kept observing the man, see his reaction, before he went on "I told her it was best to break up, it wouldn't be fair towards her to continue a relationship like that"

Yokozawa understood what Kirishima meant, being in a relationship that started to become one-sided hurts. Before you know it, it can become toxic and that only asks for trouble "Meeting you made me realize that what I felt towards Sakura wasn't romantically, I always thought I wanted to protect her from everything was love. I can see now that it was love but more as in family."

Kirishima was looking down as he thought back to his meeting with Sakura, once again being thankful to her for literally pushing him out. He let out a chuckle before looking back at Yokozawa "And what did she say?" the raven asked with a small voice, slightly beginning to bite his bottom lip again

He was concerned about the other, just tell your girlfriend you wanna break up because of another guy. How would she take that, how will he face her from now on, will she dislike him for stealing her boyfriend. Not that he knew he did it "She was sad, I'm pretty sure she is still processing it. Although she saw it coming, she even knew that you were the reason that I finally realized it. In fact, after giving me a pep talk in her own way, she pretty much pushed me out the door of the cafe and forced me to just go and tell you"

"She's an amazing person"

"Ah?"

"It's just that she's a really strong person, to set herself aside to make sure the person she loves is happy" that certainly was true, it took courage for him to tell her about his true feelings. He can't even imagine how strong she was for accepting him and even helping him, despite knowing she was hurting

Kirishima felt like a love-struck teenager when his heart skipped a beat after seeing the tiny smile lighting up Yokozawa's whole face. He would be lying if he said that he didn't want to kiss the man again, his lips were addictive. They were so soft and it may have been all in his head but they tasted so sweet, the little blush that spread across the man's face looked super adorable

Even though the only thing he wanted to do was wrap his arms around the adorable being in front of him and devour his lips one more time, he composed himself greatly cause the last thing he wanted was to scare him off. It was better to take it slow and give him time to take in his feelings

"she certainly is, I wouldn't know what to do without her and the others" He had known them for so long they just became part of his family, a family he had pleaded to protect as best as he could.

Yokozawa felt grateful that this tight group of friends accepted them and welcomed him in, it had truly warmed his heart. They were good people, the man now sitting close to him in particular. He didn't push nor judged him, he just treated him as a friend even after witnessing all this the brunette stayed by his side. His heart was beating rapidly as he realized just how quickly the man became a part of his life and it was evident that he was falling as hard as the other had

The comfortable silence was broken by Kirishima "Can you tell me what your thinking?"

"Ah, it's nothing really..." he felt his face heat up at his thoughts _'what was I even thinking just now'_ he hoped Kirishima didn't see it cause it was really embarrassing. Unfortunately, it didn't escape Kirishima's watchful almond eyes, on the contrary, it made him even more curious

"Oh come on you made me spill my guts, it only fair that you tell me what your thinking to right" He said it like it was the most natural thing to say "please~" he looked at him with those puppy dog eyes and Yokozawa found it harder to reject him. He knew his heart was beating faster and was certain that he right out blushing now

It was fun to rile the man up, Kirishima just couldn't get enough of all the cute reactions of the raven and he wasn't scared to voice it out loud "Your adorable Yokozawa"

Yokozawa thought it wasn't possible to blush even more than h already did, but that comment caught him off guard _'cute? how could someone like me look cute'_ he looked away, this was just too embarrassing "I think there must be something wrong with your eyes"

"Haha, you think? I've always been told that my sight is better than average" He knew the man was trying to rile him up, but Yokozawa is beginning to understand that the best way to deal with Kirishima's teasing is to just ignore him, which is proven to be a lot harden then he thought "so will you tell me now or do I have to drag it out of you?"

Kirishima's almond gaze sends shivers down his spine and he knew that the man wasn't kidding "It's nothing important so just forget it" he hoped Kirishima would just drop it

The brunette wasn't having any of it "Seeing how hard you were blushing just now, it can't be just nothing" Raising one of his eyebrows and a knowing grin on his face"So what will it be?"

Seeing how quickly he gave in to the stupidly smug-looking man made him realize he was done for even before anything has started. Letting out a deep sigh at his defeat he tried to give voice to the for him to embarrassing thoughts "okay, I give up" this just made the man smile even brighter at his victory "but promise me, no teasing"

"eh~" Kirishima whined but after receiving a stern gaze from Yokozawa he put up his hands in defeat "I promise to try my best and hold back on the teasing" knowing this was the best he could hope for he gave up

"I was just thinking that..." He stopped momentarily when Kirishima sat a little closer to him and looked up to him as his head was resting on his folded arms. Yokozawa cleared his throat and continued telling Kirishima what he was thinking about. He looked back at Kirishima when he was done his face heating up once more as Kirishima was just staring at him not saying anything, eyes slightly wider than normal "something wrong?"

Kirishima shook his head and a smile crept up his face going up and making his beautiful almond eyes light up "Just that you really are adorable"

Yokozawa didn't have the time to react as in the next moment he felt two arms wrap tightly around his shoulders and fluffy light brown hair brush against the sensitive skin. He didn't know what he did had triggered this reaction from the man "What are you doing?"

The soft voice off Yokozawa made the brunette smile once again _'how could he not know how adorable he is'_ arms tightened the slightest bit more around the cute man "what are ya doing?"

"Isn't it obvious I'm hugging you"

"I know that much" again a shiver went down his spine when Kirishima's warm breath ghosted over his skin, it felt like the millionth time that happened as of late

"Just let me hold you like this, please" there it was again that soft pleading voice that made Yokozawa cave into his every request. Trying his best not to think in how much trouble he's going to be in, he placed his hands on Kirishima's lower back and buried his head in his shoulder.

Kirishima felt his heart skip a beat when Yokozawa was hugging him back and couldn't be happier when a small "Uhm" could be heard from the man in his arms

The Brunette let the other man go once he heard his phone go off, Yokozawa stood up and went to the bathroom while Kirishima checked the message on his phone. on the screen was a message from Sakura and it immediately brought a warm smile to his face

[Sakura] If your serious, don't let him go, idiot

This small sentence meant so much to him he quickly sends a reply

[Zen] I'm not planning to and thx

He got a thumbs-up emoji in return, it was only then that he noticed the time. It was nearing 8:30 pm and as he ran all the way here his car was still at his apartment complex "how am I going to get home?" he pondered aloud just in time for Yokozawa who just exited the bathroom to pick up

"You can stay here if you want?" Kirishima turned back in surprise relieved to see Yokozawa standing there "ah sorry did I startle you?" He tilted his head comical

"It's okay I just didn't realize you were back already, that's all"

Yokozawa just nodded his head "whatever you say" was it all in his head or was Yokozawa teasing him "so what are you going to do?" the raven head just signed "I mean do you want to stay here tonight cause it's getting pretty dark outside, plus by what you just said I can assume you didn't come here by car"

He scratched the back of his head as he already forgot what Yokozawa offered him "yeah I pretty much ran all the way here" and his apartment was a little distance away from the university, but it was on the whole different side then he was now. It would take a good two hours to get home

"So you want to stay, there is enough space for two. I have some spare clothes to you could use if you want" He found it endearing how Yokozawa offered him everything he needed while a little blush was gracing his cheeks _'does that mean he wants me to stay with him here, tonight'_ he shook his head to prevent his mind from wandering any further

"If I'm not troubling you too much" he went towards his closet and pulled out some sweatpants and a tank top, he also got some extra toiletries from the dresser next to it and walked back to me

He pushed all the items in my arms and pointed to the bathroom "Towels are under the sink so get going if you don't want me to change my mind" he thanked Yokozawa before making his way to the bathroom to get ready for bed

As he was exiting the bathroom Yokozawa had already cleaned everything up and turned off the lights except the one on the nightstand. Kirishima went and sat next to him on the bed as the male was going through the tv channels until he found something that looked interesting. It was an interview with an author that was underrated in Kirishima's opinion

"You like this author?"

"Yeah he may not be really famous but his works are underrated, if only people would look past his lesser popularity they could read for themselves how ingeniously written his works truly are" almond eyes looked up at Yokozawa in admiration and surprise to see they had something else in common, he really liked to learn more about this intriguing masterpiece that makes up Yokozawa Takafumi

When the program was nearing it's ending he saw Yokozawa suppress a yawn from the corner of his eyes "Sleepy?"

"maybe a little bit, it had been a tiring day so far"

"Well, why don't we call it a night and head of too bad" Yokozawa just nodded as he tried to hide another yawn, a sleepy Yokozawa looked even cuter than normal. his eyes were half-open, face relaxed and the way he tries to suppress his little yawns made him look like a little child. The more sides of Yokozawa he was subjected to the more he wanted to discover

The only problem now was, where was he going to sleep there was only one bed. Even though it wasn't as big as his own it was still big enough to fit the both of them with plenty of space to spare "What are just standing there for, you going to sleep or what?" His voice was softer than ever and he was just staring right at him "It's not like there isn't enough space"

The bed wasn't the problem but rather the defenseless, beautiful and captivating man that was sleeping on it "wah!" Yokozawa was getting fed up and he just wanted to sleep so he just pulled the man by his wrist, so Kirishima toppled over on the bed "never pegged you for the aggressive type"

"Shut it, if you don't want to sleep on the ground" he retorted lacking any form of aggression as he was half asleep

"Gomen" Yokozawa just stretched his arm to turn off the light engulfing his room in darkness, he was so close to falling into a much-needed sleep when suddenly "Ne Yokozawa?"

"What is it?" he opened his eyes only to see two shimmering eyes looking at him, he couldn't help but to be self-conscious at how close they were to each other

"Well, you know about what I told you before, about the reason I came here?" Yokozawa was grateful that he had already turned off the lights cause he hated how his face was heating as he remembered Kirishima's confession and the kiss after

"Uhm" it was the only sound that he was able to let out as his heart started pounding in his chest once more

"Well I know I kind of jumped the topic on you, but I haven't heard anything from you about it and I was just wondering..." It was hard to finish when the objection of your affection was only a few inches away from you. "If I could hear what you think?"

Yokozawa felt guilty for having yet to answer the man, he knew he started to like him to hence he had pretty much already crossed the line of mere friendship, but he was scared. He wasn't scared off Kirishima but rather falling in love and trusting someone with his affection, he didn't want to go through that ever again. Indeed, Kirishima isn't pushing him for answers but that was no excuse of avoiding the question

"Can you give me some time to think..." He hoped Kirishima wouldn't mind waiting on him, it wasn't difficult to fall in love but entering a relationship is something else

Kirishima did understand Yokozawa some people just need more time to open up and figure out their feelings and he didn't mind waiting if that meant he had a chance to hear Yokozawa's real heartfelt feelings. "of course take your time, but if possible don't let me wait too long. I'm already holding back a lot"

It may have been dark, but that didn't prevent Kirishima to see the change in Yokozawa's mood "Really don't worry, I'll wait just don't start to avoid me when you're still thinking"

Yokozawa finally turned around his back facing Kirishima and muttered a soft "I won't" before closing his eyes and drifting off to sleep

Seeing Yokozawa's back he just couldn't stop himself as he wrapped his arms around the male's waist and pulling him closer towards him "Goodnight Takafumi" he whispered to sleeping man and kissed the top of his head softly before joining Yokozawa in his sleep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I decided to upload two chapters at once cause I took so long to upload on this platform. I'm really sry   
> I hope to write more once my exams are over, for now enjoy these last two updates
> 
> bye bye

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: hey guys this is the end of the first chapter and I know it's aa long one, but I just couldn't help myself. When I started writing this story my love for this couple just made me write and write.
> 
> It's my first time writing a fanfiction so I'm sry if it's badly written, but I hope to improve as the story continues. I'm still not sure about some details or in which direction I want my story to go, so please be patient with me and I'm sure I'll come up with something good soon
> 
> Characters thoughts are in italics well that's all for now


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